Saturday 30 November 2013

5 Things Jesus Can Teach You About Your Future Husband by Jarrid Wilson










Here are 5 things Jesus can teach you about your future husband:

1. Purity

Any man who deserves to marry you should honour and respect your purity. Although everyone has made mistakes, purity before marriage is an important aspect of anyone who is looking to have a relationship that honours Jesus. Purity paves the way to intimacy.


1 Timothy 5:2 – Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.

2. Kindness

A kind man is the type of man you bring home to mom and dad. Kindness is key to any thriving relationship and marriage. Don’t just look at kindness as someone who is nice, but instead someone who is slow to anger in times of trouble. Kindness is key.


Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

3. Respect

Respect in any relationship is key. Any man who can respect you no matter the circumstance, is a man worth giving your time and energy to. Not only is respect something that will spill over to other aspects of your relationship, but any man who knows the value of respect will know how to treat his future wife in a way that is reflective of Jesus himself.


Philippians 2:3 – Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.

4. Patience

Patience is one of the those things everyone talks about wanting in a man, but I think many don’t actually know what they are asking for when they say it. A man after God’s own heart will not only be patient amidst everyday aspects of life, but will also be patient when it comes to the speed in which your relationship moves.


Isaiah 40:31 – Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

5. Honesty

Honestly can make or break any relationship, no matter how strong. Any man you are considering “marriage material” should be a man who has the utmost integrity in what he says and does. Honesty goes a long way, and it’s always wonderful to know that you can trust anything your future husband says.


Proverbs 6:13 – Righteous lips are the delight of a king, and he loves him who speaks what is right.

***

What else can Jesus teach you about your future husband? Comment below.


November 29, 2013     by Jarrid Wilson in Relationships

Words for the Wise, Encourage each other to remain Strong, 1 Thessalonians 5







1 Thessalonians 5

New Century Version (NCV)

Be Ready for the Lord’s Coming

Now, brothers and sisters, we do not need to write you about times and dates. You know very well that the day the Lord comes again will be a surprise, like a thief that comes in the night. While people are saying, “We have peace and we are safe,” they will be destroyed quickly. It is like pains that come quickly to a woman having a baby. Those people will not escape. But you, brothers and sisters, are not living in darkness, and so that day will not surprise you like a thief. You are all people who belong to the light and to the day. We do not belong to the night or to darkness.

So we should not be like other people who are sleeping, but we should be alert and have self-control. Those who sleep, sleep at night. Those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But we belong to the day, so we should control ourselves. We should wear faith and love to protect us, and the hope of salvation should be our helmet. God did not choose us to suffer his anger but to have salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10 Jesus died for us so that we can live together with him, whether we are alive or dead when he comes. 11 So encourage each other and give each other strength, just as you are doing now.

Final Instructions and Greetings

12 Now, brothers and sisters, we ask you to appreciate those who work hard among you, who lead you in the Lord and teach you. 13 Respect them with a very special love because of the work they do.

Live in peace with each other. 14 We ask you, brothers and sisters, to warn those who do not work. Encourage the people who are afraid. Help those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. 15 Be sure that no one pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to do what is good for each other and for all people.
16 Always be joyful. 17 Pray continually, 18 and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.

19 Do not hold back the work of the Holy Spirit. 20 Do not treat prophecy as if it were unimportant. 21 But test everything. Keep what is good, 22 and stay away from everything that is evil.

23 Now may God himself, the God of peace, make you pure, belonging only to him. May your whole self—spirit, soul, and body—be kept safe and without fault when our Lord Jesus Christ comes. 24 You can trust the One who calls you to do that for you.

25 Brothers and sisters, pray for us.
26 Give each other a holy kiss when you meet. 27 I tell you by the authority of the Lord to read this letter to all the believers.

28 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

NIV Application Commentary

Congregational Responsibilities Toward God (5:16–18)

In 5:16–18 Paul turns from instructions covering attitudes and actions toward fellow believers and other human beings to instructions dealing with attitudes toward God. Whereas 4:3 established “holiness” as God’s will with respect to individual behaviour, here three closely connected imperatives (5:18b goes with all three commands, not just the last one in the series) spell out “God’s will in Christ Jesus” for the Thessalonians as a community.

With regard to the command to “rejoice always” (nrsv; cf. Phil. 4:4), “the emphasis on joy is not so much on the experience of joy, but the active expression of it.” Thus the translation “rejoice” (nrsv, nasb), which makes it clear that an action or attitude is involved, is preferable to “be joyful” (niv), which misleadingly suggests more an emotional state. Though the basis for joy is not indicated here, the earlier references in the letter to joy (1:6; 2:19–20; 3:9) make it clear that the basis is God’s activity and work among his people.

In urging the Thessalonians to “pray” and to “give thanks” (5:17–18a), Paul is giving advice he himself modelled (cf. 1:2; also 2:13; 3:9–10, 11–13; 5:23; 2 Thess. 1:3, 11; 2:13, 16–17). Similar encouragement to pray occurs in several letters (cf. Eph. 6:18; Phil. 4:6; Col. 4:2; 2 Thess. 3:1). For “continually” (cf. 1 Thess. 1:3; 2:13), “persevere in prayer” (Rom. 12:12, nrsv) gives the sense.

Giving thanks (5:18) is another common command or theme (cf. Rom. 14:6; 1 Cor. 14:16; 2 Cor. 1:11; 4:15; 9:11; Eph. 5:4, 20; Phil. 4:6; Col. 2:7; 3:17). Like the command to rejoice, it is deeply rooted in Paul’s theology, that is, his understanding about God. Because he was convinced that in any and all circumstances God was at work on behalf of his people (Rom. 8:28), he could therefore urge the Thessalonians to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18). This was so even if the circumstances involved the death of a believer because, even though death was an awful reality, it was not the last word or act (cf. Rom. 8:31–39). The last word or act belongs to God, and it is resurrection and life. Thus for Paul, both rejoicing and giving thanks become forms of worship or praise of God.

From NIVAC: 1 & 2 Thessalonians by Michael W. Holmes. Published by Zondervan Academic.

The Bible Panorama
1 Thessalonians 5
V 1–3: SUDDEN SURPRISE When the world least expects Christ, and when it is said that peace and safety has come, Jesus will return ‘as a thief in the night’. This is as sure to happen as the labour of a pregnant woman will bring forth birth. 

V 4–11: WAKEFUL WATCH The world is not prepared for that. Christians should be ready and waiting for the coming of the Lord. Preparation for this event involves living a sober life characterised by faith, love, assurance of salvation, comforting one another, and building one another up in the faith. Christians, whether sleeping the sleep of death or awake at Christ’s coming, rejoice that He died for them and that they will be together with Him. Salvation, not wrath, awaits them. This knowledge comforts those worried about the salvation of Christians who have died. 

V 12–22: WISE WORDS Paul then exhorts the Thessalonians in different practical matters. We see in these that true spirituality is always translated into practical living, working on good relationships with others, turning from evil, rejoicing, prayer, honouring God’s Spirit, Christian discernment, and submitting to God with thankfulness for who He is and what He has done. 

V 23–24: COMPLETE CONSECRATION Paul prays that God will sanctify the Christians completely in spirit, soul and body, so that they are ready for the coming of the Lord Jesus who is faithful to them.

 V 25–28: GRACIOUS GREETINGS Paul’s greetings include a request for prayer, a holy kiss for them all, an instruction to read the letter to everyone, and the desire that they will know the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ with them.

The Bible Panorama. Copyright © 2005 Day One Publications.


Words for the Wise Therefore Encourage Each Other, 1 Thessalonians 4









1 Thessalonians 4

New International Version - UK (NIVUK)

Living to please God

As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;

 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a]in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.[b] The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, 11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Believers who have died

13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord for ever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
Footnotes:
a.  1 Thessalonians 4:4 Or learn to live with your own wife; or learn to acquire a wife
b.  1 Thessalonians 4:6 The Greek word for brother or sister (adelphos) refers here to a believer, whether man or woman, as part of God’s family.


Dictionary of Bible Themes

8210 commitment, to God’s people

Commitment to God means a commitment to his people. Believers are meant to be nourished and supported by the church, and to work towards its edification.

Commitment to the church

Ac 2:42; Eph 4:3-4; Col 3:15 Paul uses the picture of the body to describe the interdependence of believers: Ro 12:4-10; 1Co 12:12-27

Commitment to other Christians is an expression of love made known in Christ

Jn 13:34-35; Col 3:13-14; 1Pe 1:22 See also Jn 15:12,17; Ro 12:10,16; Ro 13:8; Gal 5:13; Eph 4:32-5:2; 1Th 3:12; 1Th 4:9; 2Th 1:3; Heb 13:1; 1Pe 2:17; 1Jn 3:11,23; 1Jn 4:7,21; 1Jn 5:2

Such commitment is expressed in mutual responsibility and concern

Gal 6:2; Heb 10:24-25; 1Pe 3:8 See also Ro 14:13;Ro 15:7,14; 1Co 1:10 Paul’s concern for unity among believers; Eph 5:21; Col 3:13 the responsibility of believers to forgive one another; Col 3:16; 1Ti 5:11;Heb 3:13; Jas 4:11; 1Pe 4:9; 1Pe 5:5

For its leaders, commitment to the church may prove a joy and a burden

Ac 20:28 Paul speaking to the elders of the church at Ephesus; 2Co 11:28 See also Col 1:24; 1Th 2:8; 1Th 5:12-13; 1Ti 3:1; Heb 13:17; 1Pe 5:1-3


The Bible Panorama

1 Thessalonians 4

V 1–2: INCREASE AND INSTRUCTION Their spiritual lives should increase continually and abundantly. They should remember Christ’s commandments received through Paul and his Christian colleagues.

 V 3–8: SANCTIFICATION AND SEX God’s will is to have a holy people in contrast to the unregenerate Gentiles. This means that sexual immorality has no place whatsoever in the life of any believer. Adultery and lustful passion is out. To reject this clean and holy teaching is to reject God and His Holy Spirit.

 V 9–12: LOVE AND LIVING Heavenly love towards each other must predominate. As it increases, it will produce a quiet, industrious, ordered life. This will ensure that they have a good testimony to those outside and that their needs are met by their daily work.

 V 13–18: COMFORT AND COMING Some suggested to the Thessalonians that Christians who had died had missed the blessing of Christ’s second coming. Paul teaches them that, when Christ comes, those who have died physically will be raised with a resurrection body first and be reunited with Christ in the air. Christ will bring their redeemed souls with Him, so there will also be another reunion—that of the body and soul of the believer. Then those who are alive physically will join that blessed reunion with their returned Lord of glory. This is, of course, a great comfort. The Christian who has died and the Christian who is alive both have their future gloriously secured in Jesus Christ. Those who died trusting Christ only fell ‘asleep’ in death, and awoke immediately in His eternal presence. Now they will be given a resurrection body also when Christ brings them back with Him.


The Bible Panorama. Copyright © 2005 Day One Publications.


Friday 29 November 2013

Words for the Wise, The Messenger of Salvation, 1 Thessalonians 2










1 Thessalonians 2

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Paul’s Ministry

2 For you yourselves know, brethren, that our [a]coming to you was not in vain, 2 but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much [b]opposition. 3 For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or [c]by way of deceit; 4 but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who [d]examines our hearts. 5 For we never came [e]with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness— 6 nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ [f]we might have [g]asserted our authority. 7 But we [h]proved to be [i]gentle [j]among you, as a nursing mother [k]tenderly cares for her own children. 8 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own [l]lives, because you had become [m]very dear to us.

9 For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. 10 You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we [n]behaved toward you [o]believers; 11 just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and [p]imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, 12 so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

13 For this reason we also constantly thank God that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe. 14 For you, brethren, became imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus that are in Judea, for you also endured the same sufferings at the hands of your own countrymen, even as they did from the Jews, 15 who both killed the Lord Jesus and the prophets, and [q]drove us out. [r]They are not pleasing to God, [s]but hostile to all men, 16 hindering us from speaking to the Gentiles so that they may be saved; with the result that they always fill up the measure of their sins. But wrath has come upon them [t]to the utmost.

17 But we, brethren, having been taken away from you for a [u]short while—in [v]person, not in [w]spirit—were all the more eager with great desire to see your face. 18 [x]For we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, [y]more than once—and yet Satan hindered us. 19 For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His [z]coming? 20 For you are our glory and joy.

Footnotes:

1 Thessalonians 2:1 Lit entrance
1 Thessalonians 2:2 Or struggle, conflict
1 Thessalonians 2:3 Lit in deceit
1 Thessalonians 2:4 Or approves
1 Thessalonians 2:5 Lit in a word of flattery
1 Thessalonians 2:6 Lit being able to
1 Thessalonians 2:6 Or be burdensome
1 Thessalonians 2:7 Or became gentle
1 Thessalonians 2:7 Three early mss read babes
1 Thessalonians 2:7 Lit in the midst of you
1 Thessalonians 2:7 Or cherishes
1 Thessalonians 2:8 Or souls
1 Thessalonians 2:8 Lit beloved
1 Thessalonians 2:10 Lit became
1 Thessalonians 2:10 Or who believe
1 Thessalonians 2:11 Or testifying to
1 Thessalonians 2:15 Or persecuted us
1 Thessalonians 2:15 Lit and
1 Thessalonians 2:15 Lit and
1 Thessalonians 2:16 Or forever or altogether; lit to the end
1 Thessalonians 2:17 Lit occasion of an hour
1 Thessalonians 2:17 Lit face
1 Thessalonians 2:17 Lit heart
1 Thessalonians 2:18 Or Because
1 Thessalonians 2:18 Lit both once and twice
1 Thessalonians 2:19 Or presence

The Bible Panorama
1 Thessalonians 2

V 1–3: PROBLEMS Paul reminds them of the problems he suffered at Philippi, which involved cruel and spiteful treatment by others. That, however, has not stopped his boldness in the gospel.

 V 4–5: PLEASINGPaul reiterates that his aim is not to please men but rather, by taking seriously the gospel entrusted to him, to please God who tests the heart. At no time does he flatter men or misuse his position as a preacher of the gospel.

 V 6–9: PREACHING Paul’s preaching is characterised by seeking glory for God, gentleness with his hearers, concern for those who hear in the church, labour and toil, and being on duty twenty-four hours a day for the gospel. He earns his own living so as not to be financially burdensome to them.

 V 10–12: PARENTAL His attitude is parental to the children of God in Thessalonica. He longs to see his children walking with God and can point to his devout, just, and blameless witness to encourage them in this.

 V 13–14a: POWERFUL It is the gospel of God working in their hearts that causes the Thessalonians to imitate the churches of God that follow Christ. There is power in the truth of God.

 V 14b–16: PERSECUTED They, too, have suffered persecution by those who want to forbid them to share the gospel with Gentiles, in case they should be saved. God’s wrath is upon such people, who not only sin, but try to prevent the spread of the gospel. 

V 17–20: PASSIONATE Paul has a passion to see them again, but has been hindered by Satan. They are his ‘glory and joy’ through the gospel and he looks forward to the day when he will be with them in the presence of Christ.
The Bible Panorama. Copyright © 2005 Day One Publications.



Matthew Henry’s Commentary

1. They were stewards, put in trust with the gospel: and it is required of a steward that he be faithful. The gospel which Paul preached was not his own, but the gospel of God. Note, Ministers have a great favour shown them, and honour put upon them, and trust committed to them. They must not dare to corrupt the word of God: they must diligently make use of what is entrusted with them, so as God hath allowed and commanded, knowing they shall be called to an account, when they must be no longer stewards.

2. Their design was to please God and not men. God is a God of truth, and requires truth in the inward parts; and, if sincerity be wanting, all that we do cannot please God. The gospel of Christ is not accommodated to the fain fancies and lusts of men, to gratify their appetites and passions; but, on the contrary, it was designed for the mortifying of their corrupt affections, and delivering them from the power of fancy, that they might be brought under the power of faith. If I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ, Gal. 1:10.

3. They acted under the consideration of God’s omniscience, as in the sight of him who tries our hearts. This is indeed the great motive to sincerity, to consider that God not only seeth all that we do, but knoweth our thoughts afar off, and searcheth the heart. He is well acquainted with all our aims and designs, as well as our actions. And it is from this God who trieth our hearts that we must receive our reward. The evidences of the apostle’s sincerity follow; and they are these:—(1.) He avoided flattery:Neither at any time used we flattering words, as you know, 1 Thess. 2:5.

 He and his fellow-labourers preached Christ and him crucified, and did not aim to gain an interest in men’s affections for themselves, by glorying, and fawning and wheedling them. No, he was far from this; nor did he flatter men in their sins; nor tell them, if they would be of his party, they might live as they listed. He did not flatter them with fain hopes, nor indulge them in any evil work or way, promising them life, and so daubing with untempered mortar

(2.) He avoided covetousness. He did not make the ministry a cloak, or a covering, forcovetousness, as God was witness, 1 Thess. 2:5. His design was not to enrich himself by preaching the gospel; so far from this, he did not stipulate with them for bread. He was not like the false apostles, who, through covetousness, with feigned words made merchandise of the people, 2 Pet. 2:3.

 (3.) He avoided ambition and vain-glory: Nor of men sought we glory, neither of you nor yet of others, 1 Thess. 2:6. They expected neither people’s purses nor their caps, neither to be enriched by them nor caressed, and adored, and called Rabbi by them. This apostle exhorts the Galatians (Gal. 5:26) not to be desirous of vain glory; his ambition was to obtain that honour which comes from God, John 5:44. He tells them that they might have used greater authority as apostles, and expected greater esteem, and demanded maintenance, which is meant by the phrase of being burdensome, because perhaps some would have thought this too great a burden for them to bear.

Thursday 28 November 2013

Words for the Wise, The Steadfastness of Salvation. 1 Thessalonians 1









1 Thessalonians 1

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Thanksgiving for These Believers

Paul and Silvanus and Timothy,
To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace to you and peace.
We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers;constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love and [a]steadfastness of hope [b]in our Lord Jesus Christ in the presence of our God and Father, knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you; for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction; just as you know what kind of men we [c]proved to be among you for your sake. You also became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia. For the word of the Lord has sounded forth from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place your faith toward God has gone forth, so that we have no need to say anything. For they themselves report about us what kind of a [d]reception we had [e]with you, and how you turned to God from [f]idols to serve [g]a living and true God, 10 and to wait for His Son from [h]heaven, whom He raised from the dead, that is Jesus, who rescues us from the wrath to come.
Footnotes:
a.   1 Thessalonians 1:3 Or perseverance
b.  1 Thessalonians 1:3 Lit of
c.   1 Thessalonians 1:5 Or became
d.  1 Thessalonians 1:9 Lit entrance
e.   1 Thessalonians 1:9 Lit to
f.    1 Thessalonians 1:9 Or the idols
g.   1 Thessalonians 1:9 Or the
h.  1 Thessalonians 1:10 Lit the heavens


The Bible Panorama

1 Thessalonians 1

V 1: GRACE Paul, along with Silvanus and Timothy, greets the Thessalonian church. Again, he wishes them God’s grace and peace. 

V 2–3: GRATITUDE Paul always gives thanks to God for them and prays for them. It is the outworking of the gospel through their faith, and through their love and patience, which causes him to thank God. Not only do they have faith, but they have a certain hope for the future in Christ. 

V 4–6: GOSPEL The fact that they are elect is shown by the way the gospel came in power to them through the Holy Spirit. Contributing, under God’s grace, to the conversion of the Thessalonians was the clear testimony of Paul and his companions. Now they follow their example, having received God’s word in difficult circumstances though with joy given by the Holy Spirit.

V 7–10: GODLINESS The evidence of their conversion is that they have heralded the gospel by godly lives and by sharing the message. Their idols have gone. They have turned from them to God. This is widely known, as is their confidence in Christ’s second coming, the resurrection, and deliverance from eternal wrath. Here are people whose repentance is shown through their rejection of idolatry, evangelistic zeal and their understanding of good doctrine.

The Bible Panorama. Copyright © 2005 Day One Publications.

Wednesday 27 November 2013

The Story of Ian and Larissa

Marriage Isn’t For You Seth Adam Smith / November 2, 2013


Kim and I
Kim and I
Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.
Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raisethem? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.
My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”
Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.
But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and anguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.
SKwedding394
Marriage is about family.
I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.
To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.
And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.
Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

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Jesus Christ, The Same Yesterday, Today and Forever

I had the privilege to be raised in a Christian Home and had the input of my parents and grandparents into my life, they were ...