Friday, 12 April 2013

5 signs that they are really into you! Christian Dating & Marriage Part 2



5 signs that they are really into you!

It’s a really great feeling to finally meet someone you feel a connection with but does that online connection translate in person? Here are 5 principles taken from Song of Solomon (NLT 2007) that will help you know if they are really into you!

It’s Obvious

‘…it’s obvious how much he loves me’ (2:4)
Gideon had some doubts, so he used a fleece to get some clear signs and answers from God. (Judges 6:36-40) Recognising someone is into you will be plain to see and should not require constant double checking with God and testing for signs. Even if someone starts off a bit shy, it will become obvious that they are into you.

They Initiate

‘Let me see you; let me hear your voice’ (2:14)
You know he or she is really into you when they initiate and let you know they want to see and spend time with you. They will also be responding to your requests for another date and will not be waiting for you to make all the moves!

They are Curious

‘He is lovely in every way’ (5:16)
Someone who is interested will want to get to know you. They will be the kind of person that will come to know the little things about you, for example, they may notice how many sugars you put in your tea and that it is not the same amount in your coffee, or that you rarely put salt on your food. Yes, they really do want to know the little things about you!

They Watch You

‘I am overcome by one glance of your eyes’ (4:9)
He or she can’t help it but they just love watching you! It could be when you are in a crowded room or watching a movie together that you catch him or her gazing admiringly at you.

They Are Open about Dating You

‘Such, o women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend’ (5:16)
The one that is into you is not going to want to hide you. They will let their friends and family know and be excited to say that they found someone as fabulous as you. Even if you worry about meeting someone through an online dating site, trust that the person that is really into you will be more focused on sharing the wonderful story of how God brought you together in such an amazing way!

Gay Agenda's Intimidation Tactics Won't Stop Me From Speaking Truth

Gay Agenda's Intimidation Tactics Won't Stop Me From Speaking Truth

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Are we there yet? Looking at our Journey of Faith and Adventure Part 2: A personal story


Are we there yet?  Looking at our Journey of Faith and Adventure

Part 2: A personal story




While I’ve been writing this post, I’ve been watching a fascinating programme called Penguin – Spy in the Huddle on BBC 1.  In this episode the young penguins who have only known land have to take the leap of faith and jump into the Sea, it’s somewhere they’ve never seen or been before or indeed have experience and knowledge of. What will happen, will they drown or will they survive?  Although Penguins are Birds and look they should be able to fly, and they do spend some time on land, they’re designed and created to Swim, Can you imagine if one of these penguins decided that he or she wouldn’t go into the water they try to stay on land or learn to fly or indeed they jumped into the sea and decided that they wanted the seeming safety of dry land or some other penguin turns and says to them, Swimming tried it once and didn’t like it. However all the penguins did make into the sea and swim because that’s what they’ve been created to do, indeed called to do.

What do we do, when we’re challenged by the Lord to move away from what is familiar and safe to us?  Do we opt to stay where we are happy with the Status Quo, When God speaks to us, and gives us direction and promises if we obey Him. Do we spend time in prayer asking God to speak to us and give us direction?, because we may not like what he asks us to do or when He already has given us His direction, do we look at all our options or decide to play it safe,  are we scared of moving into something new because it may not work out ?

I now live in Southport, Merseyside which is a seaside resort in the North West of England, however when you hear me speak,  you realise that I’m Welsh, so what I’m doing in the North West of England you may ask?

Before we go any further I’m going to ask you to read Genesis 12, and look again at Abraham.

When I was a boy of about 11,  I give my life to the Lord Jesus when I realised that He died in my place for my sin on Calvary, and from that moment I became a Christian or a Disciple of Jesus and joined a Church Family in the South Wales Valleys, although I was raised in a Christian family and was raised in Biblical Values and Ethics and in a way was already part of that Church Family because my parents and grandparents where part of that Church, during this time my parents and grandparents would take myself, my two sisters on a family holiday to Ilfracombe in North Devon however now being a mature and adventurous 11 year old, I went to a Christian Youth Camp on The Gower Peninsula near Swansea for a week before joining the rest of my family in Ilfracombe. I realised there that part of being a Disciple was being involved in Mission or spreading the Good News of the Gospel in things like Evangelism.

I spent some interesting times from about 11 to 23, in a great Pentecostal Denomination mostly in the South Wales Valleys, although in the days before email and Facebook made good friends with other young people and some older people from related Churches from the UK and overseas. I spent two years in that Pentecostal Denomination’s Bible School which was about 30 miles from where I lived in Neath, (although I spent the first 17 years of my life in Melin Court, Clyne and Resolven). but when I heard the stories of both the men and women of God, the Pentecostal Pioneers who had gone before me, I was greatly challenged thinking there must be more than this, My Grandmother fuelled a lot of this desire in me, but lending me books by Arthur Wallis.

 My mind-set was established in Pentecostalism and being Welsh, I thank the Lord for my heritage and history and the friends I made there, but I realised aged 23 that the my journey of faith wasn’t with my friends I had grown up with, and reluctantly and with a heavy heart I knew God was moving me on to other pastures.

 It was during this time, The Toronto Blessing happened.  I wanted a fresh touch or anointing from the Lord so I could be refreshed and go back to the Pentecostal Church that was my spiritual home at the time and get my mind into gear,  I visited another Church in Neath and was prayed for, and for a few weeks everything was okay, but I was hungry for something different and I couldn’t find it where I was at the time, so I made a second visit to this new Church, and I asked one of the leaders, who later become one of my closest and dearest friends, a question and suddenly I asked how could I join.

When I look back over the last 20 years, I remember the challenges I’ve faced, the many times where I have felt life is an emotional rollercoaster! It was during one of these journeys on  life’s emotional rollercoaster,  I give up on Church, I remember being at my sister’s house in South Wales, and now using the technical phrase I didn’t know if I was coming or going,  I felt I needed to pray for direction, and asked the Lord where I had gone wrong.
  
  Some 10 years ago, I came here to Southport on Holiday and I felt that God was calling me and calling me to be a part of the Church family I’m now part of. I tried for several years to come here and nothing worked out, but hey I kept trying and of course kept failing, and eventually I give up and tried to forget about Southport.  I tried moving to another part of the country, and that ended badly and I give up on Church.  I was sitting on my sister’s sofa praying, and I felt I needed to send a text to a friend here, who I not spoken to for some time asking for his advice, his advice was to phone him, which I did, during our chat, he challenged me that I gone off –track and I needed to get back on track. I remember bursting into tears. It was after that call to my friend, I watched two television programmes that both mentioned Southport and realised that God was telling me something.  I arranged to visit here for a weekend in February 2011.

I remember going to Church on Sunday morning of that weekend and sitting in the back row, and when one of our elders was speaking and towards the end of his sermon, he quoted this Scripture


Numbers 10:29

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)
29 And Moses said to Hobab the son of Reuel the Midianite, Moses' father-in-law, “We are setting out for the place of which the Lord said, ‘I will give it to you.’ Come with us, and we will do good to you,for the Lord has promised good to Israel.”

When I think of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness and blessings, I just want to praise Him,  I tried to settle for second best, for the comforts of convenience, for an easy life of mediocrity, Yet God has been good and is being good today, kept challenging me to see the bigger picture, and to see there is more than we have experienced or seen before, although I’m from Neath in South Wales,  Southport is now my home.

The Lord says in Jeremiah 29:11 -13 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[b] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, declares the Lord.

God’s plans and purposes for our life are higher and better than our plans and purposes for our own lives, He has given our lives direction and destiny.  I’m not sure how my life would look now if I stayed in Neath and for some Neath is where God has placed and planted them and has called them to serve Him and His Church, but it wasn’t my calling and destiny, I will say that if feel your live has gone off – track and you’ve missed your calling and destiny, find your Southport or Canaan?

Yours in His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Are we there yet? Looking at our Journey of Faith and Adventure, Part 1




Are we there yet?  Looking at our Journey of Faith and Adventure



Part 1

In the Film Shrek 2, The Character Donkey, (voiced by Eddie Murphy) keeps asking his friends Shrek and Fiona are we nearly there yet on their journey to Far Far Away Land.

In Genesis 11, Terah, Abraham’s Father takes Abram (Abraham), Abram’s wife Sarai and his grandson Lot, the son of another son called Haran from the settlement of Ur of the Chaldeans (in modern day Iraq) to the land of Canaan, (modern day Israel), we don’t know why Terah had decided to leave Ur and settle in Canaan, but for some reason, he found the settlement of Haran (in modern day Turkey) and he settled and eventually died there, see Genesis 11:27 – 32

 27 Now these are the records of the generations of Terah. Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran; and Haran became the father of Lot. 28 Haran died [k]in the presence of his father Terah in the land of his birth, in Ur of the Chaldeans. 29 Abram and Nahor took wives for themselves. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah [l]and Iscah. 30 Sarai was barren; she had no child. 31 Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram’s wife; and they went out [m]together from Ur of the Chaldeans in order to enter the land of Canaan; and they went as far as Haran, and [n]settled there. 32 The days of Terah were two hundred and five years; and Terah died in Haran.

To get from Ur of Chaldeans to Canaan, the most direct route would be in a straight line directly across the desert, ancient travellers wouldn’t have travelled this route because of the dangers of travelling in the desert, they would have travelled through a region called The Fertile Crescent, because they could have found water and pasture for themselves and their livestock.


When God calls us to do something,  He doesn’t always lead us directly from point a to point b. He takes us in a circuitous route where we can find refreshment, encouragement and blessing, however sometimes we settle in places that God hasn’t called us to settle, we settle in places that are oasis of refreshment rather than our ultimate destination  this sometimes is because of convenience or sometimes because we’re afraid to move on. If you’re on a journey of faith, adventure and obedience to the Lord don’t stay in Ur, don’t settle in Haran keep moving to Canaan.

Sometime later, the Lord spoke to Terah’s son Abram (Abraham), and said to him in Genesis 12 1 The Lord said to Abram: Leave your country, your family, and your relatives and go to the land that I will show you. 2 I will bless you and make your descendants into a great nation. You will become famous and be a blessing to others. 3 I will bless anyone who blesses you, but I will put a curse on anyone who puts a curse on you. Everyone on earth will be blessed because of you.[a]

Abraham could have stayed in Haran, he was settled, comfortable and at ease, life was easier staying at Home, than going on a Journey, yet there must have been something that drew him to obey the Lord.

One of the films that inspired me in 2012,  was Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit; An Unexpected Journey,  Bilbo Baggins played by Martin Freeman, a respectable Hobbit who has settled for a comfortable life and finds himself challenged by his friend the Wizard Gandalf and the company of Dwarves led by Thorin,  when Gandalf and Thorin’s company of Dwarves leave him behind because of his reluctance and desire for safety, security and comfort, he wakes up and realizes his mistake, and runs after his friends and when asked by his neighbours where he was going, he replies I’m off on an advantage and gets looks both of bemusement and confusion

How often when God challenges us to do something, we like our safety, security, comfort and easy life, it’s time like Bilbo Baggins to leave our Bagend and don’t let anything hold you back and move on with our adventure of faith, as the Lord directs and leads us forward.

See Genesis 12:4-9 4 So Abram went, as the Lord had told him,and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. 5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people that they had acquired in Haran, and they set out to go to the land of Canaan. When they came to the land of Canaan, 6 Abram passed through the land to the place at Shechem, to the oak[c] of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. 7 Then the Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built there an altar to the Lord, who had appeared to him. 8 From there he moved to the hill country on the east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. And there he built an altar to the Lord and called upon the name of the Lord. 9 And Abram journeyed on, still going towards the Negeb.

In  Hebrews 11, we see the roll call of those who obeyed God by their faith and Abraham is one of those mentioned

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. 9 By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. 11 By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. 12 Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore 13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14 For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. 15 If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city 17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, 18 of whom it was said, “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” 19 He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back.


Yours by His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Southport, Merseyside

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

To boldly go, where no-one has gone before !


To boldly go, where no-one has gone before !



I will go to the ends of the earth. Hillsongs





When I was growing up, my parents and grandparents would take me and my two sisters on holidays to Ifracombe on the North Devon Coast, and more often or not we would go by the MV Balmoral, which would sail between Swansea and Ilfracombe in the Summer months, and while there go for boat trips that would sail from Ilfracombe harbour, I have  many happy memories of going there as child and early teenager, because of these memories I enjoy spending time by the Coast and now live in a Seaside Resort, although I have not been on a boat trip for a while, I'm fascinated both by boats and the Sea.

I remember a few years ago, while on holidays in Porthleven, Cornwall, spending time in the National Maritime Museum in Falmouth and had an interesting and enjoyable time there, although one thing I noticed more than others that the boats on display, none of them were in their original context , it was fascinating looking at these boats and reading all about them, but all them weren't doing the job they were designed and build for, yes, being on the water. Porthleven is a lovely, fishing village situated near Helston, and has a very picturesque harbour and I noticed that all the boats were doing the purpose they were designed and build for. Like other seaside holiday destinations, Porthleven has several shops selling goods to tourists, some of these shops sell model ships, they look exactly like the originals, but they could never do, the same job as the original ! they were just for display

For centuries Great Britain has been a maritime nation, and many of our national heroes have been sailors, from the historic figures like Sir Francis Drake, Horatio Nelson, Captain James Cook, to the fictional heroes such as Horatio Hornblower, many of our wars and the battles that we fought have involved fighting on Sea, from fighting the Spanish Armada, The Battle from Trafalgar, The Battle Of Jutland, The Battle of the River Plate. Most of our imports and exports travel by sea, the sea has important part to play into our history, present and future as Great Britain. The sea routes used today both for business and pleasure had to be discovered, and the ships that travel those routes use sea-charts to show them where they are going and how to get there, from the smallest cabin cruiser to the mighty container ship. Yet someone had to go out and navigate the sea in order for these sea-charts to be produced. Many of these men, such as Sir Francis Drake and Captain James Cook, stand tall throughout our history.

We see in our Bibles, countless references to sailing and to sea, from Noah's Voyage, to Jonah and we know that the Lord's Disciples Peter, Andrew, James and John were fisherman on the Sea of Galilee, and many of the early missionaries such as Paul, Barnabas, Silas, Mark, Timothy and Luke often travelled by sea to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Salvation to the people of the known world. In Ephesians 4:12, one of the meanings of the Greek Word we translate as equip is prepare a ship for voyage (one of the other meanings, is to set a broken bone).

In the 19th and 20th centuries many people left these shores and other shores to travel the world, to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Salvation, following the example of men like William Carey, John Wesley and George Whitfield, I remember growing up in small Pentecostal Church in the South Wales Valley's, and hearing about many men and women who went forth as missionaries, and being inspired by the reports that came back from our missionaries in places like Nigeria and India, I had the privilege not only of having a retired missionary as one of my Sunday School Teachers, and having two former missionary couples as my Pastor and his wife , but also being related to one of the earliest Pentecostal Pioneers from the United Kingdom that went to Nigeria, who in his later years inspired me to seek and serve God. While a student in Bible School, several of my lecturers had been missionaries, and I know how much they inspired me and my fellow students.

In the early part of the 21st Century, many of us may not have the same opportunities to travel to other lands following in the footsteps of our brothers and sisters who went before us, there are still opportunities we can take, perhaps in short-term mission trips, we have advancements in technology they didn't have anything  like the Internet, I remember being in School in the 1980's and never thought then I could not talk to people in places like America and Australia via a computer and a phone-line but to count them as friends as well. On the other hand we don't have to travel to other lands to be a missionary, we can be missionaries in our villages, towns, suburbs, cities but most importantly in our communities. I know that in the coming days, the Lord will inspire many of us to become missionaries on other towns, cities and regions throughout our own lands but other lands as well.

In the last 12-18 months, I have been greatly inspired by the writings of people like Alan J Roxburgh, Alan Hirsch, Neil Cole, Martin Robinson and Floyd McClung, especially when it comes to being Missional and being challenged by the concept of mission dei or God's Mission. I may not have the opportunities to travel to other lands to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Salvation, but it doesn't mean that there are no opportunities here in the United Kingdom. I've just read something that David Cameron, the Prime Minister here in the UK, said about Broken Britain and Social Recession. (If you would like to read more about Missional, I strongly recommend (Introducing the Missional Church by Alan J Roxburgh). Both my prayer and desire is to see God raise up His People here in the UK and other lands to see the spiritual needs in our own lands, and be willing to follow His direction either to pray, support or go, hopefully to do all, some of us He will send to our neighbours, some of us He will send to our streets, some to our towns and cities, but all He asks are we willing to go to those He will send us ?

Some of us in coming days, He will ask to be Pioneers, and to go where no-one has gone before or for some time, to break into new territory or to go and re-claim territory. I'm now going to share some Scriptures with you, and my Prayer is that God will use these Scriptures to challenge you for the first time or to challenge for you for the thousandth time, and follow his direction, which will not only impact your own live, but impact the lives of others, those who is sending you to.

If you're wondering if my title sounds familiar, it's from Star Trek, the days ahead will be days of challenge, courage and grace but most importantly of opportunity, and I pray that we take the courage and the grace, to take the opportunities those challenges will present to us.

Isa 6:8-9a NIv

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
       And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" 9 He said, "Go and tell this people

Matt 28:19-20 NIv

19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in [a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Romans 10:14015a NCV

 14 But before people can ask the Lord for help, they must believe in him; and before they can believe in him, they must hear about him; and for them to hear about the Lord, someone must tell them;15 and before someone can go and tell them, that person must be sent.

Yours by His Grace


Blair Humphreys 

Southport

Monday, 8 April 2013

10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Wife


10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Wife

12:00PM EDT 4/4/2013 ALLPRODAD.COM STAFF



We live in a world defined by negativity. So much of the conversation surrounding politics, education, social challenges and even religion seems to be about “What I’m against!” to the extent that we too easily forget exactly what it is that we value.
It’s the same thing much of the time with marriage. Gripe, complain, nag, whine…. really? Give it a break already! One great exercise in proactive relationship building is the commitment to focus on the positive.
Try the “I promise to say nothing negative to my wife for one entire day” pledge. Better still, try it for one week. Be a servant leader as you model active love.
Along the same lines, go a step further and move beyond merely avoiding the negative and actually be deliberate about the compliments. We think it’s such a good idea we’ve picked ten of our favorite to suggest:
1. “I love talking with you; you’re interesting and funny.” Communication is a key component of a marriage that works. Lose conversation and you lose one-another. Check out this All Pro Dad resource on 10 Ways to Improve Marital Communication.
2. “Today was another one of those days that made me so glad I asked you to marry me.” You enjoy your life together. Make sure she knows it for a fact. Make sure she knows you’d ask her again in a heartbeat.
3. “Your life tells the truth about love.” This is a quote about love for the ages. Some people can be loving, or positive, or generous, or kind. But the way your wife is goes beyond that. If you really “get” your wife, tell her how she is. Tell her every way you know how.
4. “The kind of mom you are makes it so much easier to be the kind of a dad I need to be.”This parenting thing is all about teamwork. Self-doubt is ever present. Be the encourager. Let her know she inspires you. Here are 6 A's of Good Parenting.
5. “Sometimes you are so beautiful that I just want to stand still and look at you.” Go ahead. Make her day. Then do it – look at her like that…
6. “Thank you for being such a hard worker.” Simply acknowledging she works just as hard, if not harder, than you do will go a long way to encourage her.  Just because some in this world will not give her credit for all the labor of love necessary to be a wife and mother does not mean it’s anything other than vitally important.
7. “Thanks for loving me the way you do; you make me want to be a better man.” Okay, so we borrowed this one from Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie, “As Good As It Gets”. But it’s more than a great line - this compliment lets her know she’s inspirational as well as hot.
8. “You’re the reason this place is called ‘home’ rather than just a house.” Your wife puts her heart into the heart of your home. Recognize that. Let her know you appreciate her love and her skill.
9. “Thanks for being my best friend.” Most men own a feeling of real emptiness outside a loving marriage relationship. Tell your wife that you understand what’s going on and that you value her gift of friendship to your life.
10. “Thanks for your honesty.” Many men look at their wives as nags when they’re honest.  And that is true at times for some women.  But for many husbands, your wife’s honesty is gift and a chance to grow.  When your best friend who loves you is open enough to be honest, it’s an opportunity for you to fix something.  And that is invaluable.
All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Christian Dating & Marriage


http://blog.christianconnection.co.uk/i-was-wondering-about-playing-against-type/


* I made a decision, some time ago had to re-post other people's blog's but this caught my attention, so I'm reposting it.*

I was wondering… about playing against type
I had a type. It changed occasionally (OK, regularly), sometimes depending on the last film I had seen or whoever I had just passed in the street. But there was always someone – a hypothetical someone – who ticked all the boxes. An invisible standard, lurking in my subconscious, by which all potential suitors would be measured. I just had to wait for him to glide majestically into view.
And then I passed 30.

Maybe you’re there already; maybe the magical milestone is still to come, but whichever side of the big 3-0 you happen to reside, there’s something you might have noticed. Although I didn’t look dramatically different – well, apart from a sudden love for support tights and elasticated waists, obviously – once word was out perceptions changed. Have you seen ‘Bride Wars’? I won’t judge you if you say yes. Thanks to my hairy, tattooed brother (yes really) I have, and a concept from it stuck in my mind. In summary: 30 is the last age a man will go out with a woman of his own age; after that, he always goes younger. A woman over 30, therefore, should expect the attentions of older men, not men the same age, who would only be interested in younger women.

Hmm. Thankfully God didn’t write ‘Bride Wars’.

And yet it seemed some people enthusiastically bought into this notion. I was suddenly suggested as the perfect companion for significantly older men. In one case, I was solemnly assured, because the gentleman in question had “never grown up” (hopefully not one of those chaps fond of wearing nappies). I was also told if I could hang on for a few more years I could catch the second-time-rounders back on the ‘market’, or even bide my time, staring intently from a distance without introduction, for some poor chaps to recover from tragically being widowed. None of it seemed terribly romantic. Slightly alarming, yes. Sinister? Just a little. A pre-defined role as a companion to the heartbroken (or Peter Pan) and I – and maybe they -didn’t get much say in what happened next. So much for having a type. I was already being typecast.

But then I looked around at couples I knew and saw a lot more variety. Differences in age, culture, race, education, height, weight and background. Men older than women but also (gasp!) women older than men. One couple born on the same day in the same year now excited about becoming grandparents. Couples who met at youth group and university and church but also couples who met on blind dates, by chance in nightclubs, even on trains. Unexpected matches in which both flourished. Where types didn’t apply, because something deeper had kicked in.

So when long-time single friends* announced they had found love with older, divorced single parents despite having devoted years to hooking super-hot, younger, uncomplicated matches it made me wonder. On paper (or online) it can seem so straightforward. This is what I want. Don’t even talk to me if you don’t fit. The delightfully misused ‘God will give me the desires of my heart’ wheeled out to justify preferences, but unless we’re perfect (except me, obviously) we need to broaden our horizons. Let character, sense of humour, inspiring conversation, kindness, even differences and challenges, draw us to others. Prepare to be surprised. See what we might be missing. Say goodbye to types and hello to possibilities.

*Male and female. Did you guess? ;)
Written by Vicky Walker   Posted in: DatingSingleness
http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/1c09590a1bd0eabf68e2db3c8cad2034?s=50&d=http%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D50&r=G
About Vicky Walker
Vicky Walker is a writer and speaker, among other things. Her book ‘Do I have to be good all the time?’ about life, love and awkward moments is available now from www.vickywalker.info

Do You Really Want a Godly Husband?

Do You Really Want a Godly Husband?

Living a Life without Limits.


Living a Life without Limits.




I’m going to ask you to think about this question and I would like you to pray about your answer and see what God will speak to you about? The question is what is limiting and/or restricting your life reaching its full God ordained and significant potential?

Seriously what is holding you back?, is it circumstances, disappointment, previous or existing rejection, the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or are you just scared etc., etc., this list could be almost endless but hey I can’t ask you what is holding your back only you can ask yourself that question?, I would like to clarify that God’s morals and ethics aren’t what is holding you because they aren’t negotiable

In some ways it’s the easiest thing to do, sitting either reminiscing about what has happened in the past or even day dreaming of what could happen in the future, but in both cases we’re letting life was all its fulfilment pass us by because we’re too busy reminiscing about the past or day dreaming about the future, yesterday isn’t today and today isn’t tomorrow! 

Earlier today, I had an email but unlike every email I’ve had today, this was prophetic, yet it wasn’t from a prophet or any other church leader, it was a job advert, to look at the email initially it looked boring and I didn’t pay it much attention, however when I took another look at, and thought’s it’s only an advert from the Royal Navy but the title caught my attention, “ Live a Life without Limits”, this title caught my attention and lead to chain of thought and I asked myself this question if serving in the Royal Navy is  Living a Life without Limits, how much more then should the Christian Life be Living a Life without Limits ?

In some ways we’ve contained ourselves by our present circumstances and situations we hold onto things than aren’t relevant or helpful or indeed beneficial  for us to do any longer, whatever that may be, instead of life in glorious hd we’ve settled for a monochrome lifestyle, a life devolved of power, passion, praise and purpose because of what happened in our past we try to find fulfilment in our yesterday when we need to find that fulfilment in today and we hope and pray for our better tomorrow however that tomorrow is actually today.  We become seemingly paralysed by the fear of failure and indecision, too afraid to make a move in case we make a mistake! If this sounds familiar stop for moment, pray and ask the Lord to show you what you do? however I’m going to give you a clue in  involves movement on your part !

Life was never meant to be dull and dusty, predictable and pain free, however we like the safety net of predictably, comfort and familiarity!  It’s time to live our Lives without our self-imposed Limitations.


It says in Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV
20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen. 

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what does it mean to be a Christian Believer or Disciple in 2013, and for an example is it any different from being a Believer in 1913?, The world and society have changed a great deal in the last 100 years, the World has seen two World Wars, we have seen the rise and fall of political, economic & social systems,  we've seen an increase of the advance of technology and we’re reaping in many ways both the benefits and disadvantages of that technology!

We face both challenges and opportunities, persecution and praises, but then did the Church of the 1st Century AD, the Christian Life was never meant to be boring, predictable and dull.  Our Lord Jesus says in John 10:10b “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”

I give my life to Jesus in 1981, and have been a Jesus Follower or Disciple since then, my background is Welsh Pentecostal, and I was part of a great Christian Fellowship called The Apostolic Church (Apostolic not as in Oneness Gospel, They’re Trinitarian) for the early part of my Christian Walk, and in many ways Welsh Pentecostalism is closely related to the Welsh Chapel or Non-Conformist Culture, although in some ways has strong Evangelical roots.  I’m not criticising or condemning that Culture, I grew up in it and it’s my history. However for most of the last 20 years I've been part of Restoration/New Church/House Church stream or movement which is very much my present and indeed my future, these are the people God has called me to share my life with and be part of.

In many ways, History can be positive, negative or neutral. All of us have a History that includes a combination of various factors including good, bad and neither good or bad, we’ve all made mistakes and errors, but there have been times when we’ve done things well and are proud of what we’ve done and there times we regret, or are ashamed or embarrassed/disappointed about, we’ve all disappointed and hurt others and we’ve all been disappointed and hurt by others, sometimes unintentionally and if we’re honest intentionally too! It’s time to forgive ourselves and forgive others, for many of us unforgiveness is holding us back!


Matthew 6:14-15
 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Colossians 3:12-17
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

1 John 1:5-10

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practise the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.


Many of us need to break free of our History, or the version of our History we believe or the version of our History that others have told us,  our history has little bearing or relevance to our present or a future,  our present and future isn't a  or no longer a case  of history repeating itself and its time to realise that for ourselves both on an individual or collective basis, our history isn’t our present or indeed our future, for too long we’ve lived in the present and looked to our  future and they for various reasons have become a continuation of our history,  today it’s time to stop and break that cycle.

We can no longer live in our history, wishing tomorrow, tomorrow I love you tomorrow, which is our present and future, then continue to live today as if was yesterday or indeed expect tomorrow to be like our yesterday, we can't travel back in time to change our yesterday, we can only live for today and pray, plan and prepare for tomorrow!

Can you imagine that  you live in a rickety old house that is falling down all around you, and there cobwebs and dust everywhere, there are no modern conveniences like running water or electricity, but you like it because it’s familiar and in way it feels safe and comfortable, suddenly there is knock on your front door and Jesus is standing there, and he asks you why are you living in your old house that doesn’t suit you when he has a better house for you, and just behind Jesus, you see a fantastic house,  your heart says wow, but your head says no, and you say thank you, Lord but I like my house and you close the door on Jesus,  you go and sit on your broken chair, and think I like my house it’s familiar then there is another knock on your door, and Jesus is standing there again, and again he shows the new house, and you think to yourself, I will visit this new house, and you walk inside and it just blows you away,  it’s your dream house, but you keep looking back at your old house,  and say you to yourself,  this new house is fantastic but my old house is familiar and go thank you Lord for showing me this new house but I still rather live in my old house, and close the door of the new house behind you, thinking this new house is too good for me and I don’t deserve it, you go back to your old house and you sit there and the rain comes and wind blows, and you think to yourself I can patch up this old house it wouldn’t be as nice as the new house, but it would be better than before, then there is another knock on your door and your answer it and it’s Jesus again, and you tell him your plans for your old house and he smiles and says to you, why continue to live in this old house when I’ve given this new house which is better for you and you do deserve it because I’ve forgiven you and because you’re in me and I’m in you. Then  you  suddenly find yourself   walking towards the new house, you start to get excited and start running towards it, and you say to yourself, it’s mine.  You sit in your new house on a comfortable sofa and Jesus is there with you, and you get up and to say thank you, you make Jesus a cup of tea, and through the kitchen window you see your old house and think to yourself why did I live there so long! When I could have lived here instead.

The old house is your history, and when Jesus shows us our new house which is our present and future, but because of we’re familiar with our history and because of our history we feel we don’t deserve our possible present and future, so we decide to patch up our history, but Jesus has better plans for us than to patch up our past he has a far better present and future that we think we deserve because of our history!

It says in Isaiah 43:18-19
“Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

It also says in Jeremiah 29:11-14a
11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[b] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, declares the Lord


Yours because of His Grace and Mercy

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