Are we there yet? Looking at our Journey of Faith and Adventure. Part 3, Dealing with Distractions, Disappointments and Delays in reaching our Destiny or Destination.

I mentioned in a previous post, that I’m Welsh and part of being Welsh is the love of singing or in my case attempting to sing !,  My dad is a Male Voice Choir called Swansea Gospel Male Voice Choir, and especially in the Welsh Valleys there is a History of Choral Singing, (Choir Singing).

One of the most well recognised and most famous Welsh Hymns is Guide me, O thou Great Jehovah (or Redeemer) which was written by one of the most famous Welsh Hymn Writers, William Williams (Pantycelyn) although originally written in the Welsh Language as Arglwydd, arwain trwy'r anialwch, It’s known throughout the World as Guide me, O thou Great Jehovah it’s also known as The Welsh Rugby Hymn or Bread of Heaven, where it’s sung with equal gusto when Wales play Rugby to when it’s sung in the Chapels and Churches.

Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,

Pilgrim through this barren land;

I am weak, but thou art mighty;

Hold me with thy powerful hand:

Bread of heaven, bread of heaven

Feed me till I want no more.

Feed me till I want no more.

Open thou the crystal fountain

Whence the healing stream shall flow;

Let the fiery, cloudy pillar

Lead me all my journey through:

Strong deliverer, strong deliverer

Be thou still my strength and shield.

Be thou still my strength and shield.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,

Bid my anxious fears subside;

Death of death, and hell's destruction,

Land me safe on Canaan's side:

Songs of praises, songs of praises

I will ever give to thee.

I will ever give to thee.

Several weeks ago. I had the privilege to spend some time with one of my closest friends here in Southport, He and his wife are great friends to myself and others and are an inspirational couple, he’s also likes Organs especially Hammond Organs, a few weeks ago he had to go to South Wales to collect an Organ, so I went with him to help him collect it.   On the return journey we stopped at a Tesco Express Convenience Store to pick up refreshments and I had an urge for Welsh Cakes, so I picked up a pack of Brace’s Welsh Cakes and bought them home with me,  a few days later I was shopping at my local Asda and has I walked around the aisle’s I noticed tucked away in the Bakery Aisle, Brace’s Welsh Cakes, the Lord spoke to me through this, that he not would only provide me with the essentials here but would provide me with blessings here, because I’ve been obedient to Him.

After our successful trip to Wales, my friend asked me would I be interested in travelling to the north of Scotland with him to collect an Organ, I of course agreed because I believe part of being friends is helping each other, On our Journey we used two forms of navigation a Sat-Nav and a Road Atlas, on this journey we had to stop for fuel and food and we stopped at Carlisle, there were other people travelling that day, and although my friend and I were travelling to Scotland not everyone had the same destination as ourselves, as people either left the motorway because they were getting to their destination or they were joining the motorway to go to their destination,  I wondered to myself, firstly how long it would take to get to our destination and what would we find when we got there and what would it be like, on our journey we passed various road signs giving names of various locations like Glasgow, Stirling, Perth and Dundee and as some people kept leaving the road we were on and other people kept joining I wondered to myself how many people travelling had the same destination as we had.  We shared the road with other travellers, and for part of the journey we travelled alongside each other, then they left us and in some ways we left others because our destination was different from them, on our journey we passed several places of interest such as The Falkirk Wheel and Stirling Castle, but even if those places are interesting,  they could have been a distraction to us, It would have quiet easy because of the distance we had to travel to  change our destination and go with the flow and go somewhere like Glasgow or Perth, but they weren’t our destination We kept travelling and further north we went we saw less and less traffic, we passed through several sets of traffic lights when we went through on the Green Light, it would have quiet easy in our eagerness to get to our destination gone through on Red or Amber Lights because we didn’t want to be delayed, eventually we arrived in the beautiful seaside town of Gardenstown in Aberdeenshire, none of the travellers we had seen on our journey had also arrived in Gardenstown and for part of our journey we had travelled alongside others, either for a small part or longer part of our journey.

Gardenstown, Banff, Scotland.

In the Christian Life and Walk, we have two forms of Navigation, the Holy Spirit’s guidance in our life and the written word of God, The Bible,  I notice in our lives journey we use both forms of navigation and both lead us to the correct destination, there were other people travelling when we travelled and for part of our journey we travelled alongside each other but because our destination was different we parted company at various junctions, we had to also stop for fuel and food,  so on our Christian Life and Walk we need to stop to be refreshed and recharged,  because our destination was further along that others destinations it would have easier and more convenient to change our destination but it wouldn’t have been our true destination or our goal, It would have easy to be distracted and because we had seen something that attracted us and looks more achievable that our goal we settle in places that aren’t the correct or best place for us, because of various things we can be delayed on our journey but we still arrive at our destination.

I live in Southport, and our local train station is served by two train companies, Northern Rail who provide services to and from Manchester and Merseyrail who provide services to Liverpool, The Wirral and Chester, can you imagine if I decided to spend the day by visiting Chester but decided to travel to Manchester instead both have similar names but are two different places, Manchester is a great place but it wouldn’t have been my destination, when travelling to Chester you have to change trains at either Moorfields or Liverpool Central Stations , I could say to myself it has taken me 45 minutes to get to Liverpool, and it will  take another 50 minutes to get to Chester. I know I will stay here for a bit then move on to Chester but you end up in Liverpool which is a great place to visit but again not my destination, because Merseyrail is a local commuter line it stops at every train station between Southport and Liverpool one of these stations is Formby and in Formby there is a National Trust site that has a colony of Red Squirrels,  I could be distracted and decide to see these Red Squirrels, but again it’s not my destination!

Chester, Clock.

Why I’m saying these things?  You may ask, I’m using this has an illustration, some of us have decided to go to places that aren’t our destination/destiny but have made it our destination or destiny because it’s similar to our destination or destiny and others have places where we need to change to get to our destination or destiny and then others have been distracted by things we’ve seen or have been told and yes we all say we’re happy and fulfilled where we are and God is blessing us,  yes this things may be true up to point but to reach the full potential of our destiny we need to be where God has called us to be in the first place, yes it will mean change and/or upset but we need to be where God wants us to be!

It says in Habakkuk 2:3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it;    it will surely come; it will not delay.

It says in Ephesians 3:20 – 21. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.

Yours because of His Grace and Mercy

Blair Humphreys

What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like? JAN 12, 2006 |SCOTT CROFT

Courtship and dating — is one more biblical than the other? Learn more about the motive, mind-set and methods of each.  

Given this biblical theology of sex and marriage [presented in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ], what does a healthy, biblical dating or courting relationship look like in practice?

The attempt to answer that question has brought about a literary flood over the last several years, with different works bearing different levels of usefulness. A few examples include Boundaries in Dating; Boy Meets Girl; I Kissed Dating Goodbye; I Hugged Dating Hello; I Gave Dating a Chance; Her Hand in Marriage; The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mar. Right; and Wandering Toward the Altar.

These columns can be divided into two groups. One group generally supports the method of "dating" and attempts to instruct readers to date in a "Christian" way. The other group rejects the current dating method altogether as biblically flawed. It advocates an alternative system, which most describe as "courtship." In my reading, the book on this topic that seems the most sound theologically and practically is called Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris (he is also the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye).

What is the difference between courtship and dating, and is one more biblical than the other? I will provide a working definition of each, describe how the two methods are broadly different, and then recommend why one method is fundamentally more biblical than the other.

Defining Courtship and Dating

Let's begin by defining courtship. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal.

What then is dating? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

The Differences between Courtship and Dating

 What are the differences in these two systems? For our purposes, there are three broad differences between what has been called biblical courtship and modern dating.

1. The Difference in Motive

The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive — to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (see Matt. 24:38; Luke 20:34-35).

Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple — always with marriage in view. I am not advocating arranged marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.

Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is none. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? Zero. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.

The motive for dating or courting is marriage. The practical advice I give the singles at our church is, if you cannot happily see yourself as a married man (or woman) in less than one year, then you are not ready to date.

2. The Difference in Mind-set

The second major difference between biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. What do I mean by that? Modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavour. I do not mean maliciously selfish, as in "I'm going to try to hurt you for my benefit." I mean an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about me. After all, what is the main question everyone asks about dating, falling in love, and getting married? "How do I know if I've found the one?" What is the unspoken ending to that question? "For me." Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? How does she look? What is the chemistry like? Have I done as well as I can do?

I cannot tell you how many men I have counselled who are terrified to commit, worrying that as soon as they do, "something better will come walking around the corner."

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day. Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her — a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.

In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" while biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one for her?"

3. The Difference in Methods

Third, and most practically, modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. Spend large amounts of time alone together. Become each other's primary emotional confidantes. Share your deepest secrets and desires. Get to know that person better than anyone else in your life. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy. What you do and say together is private and is no one else's business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else's authority or be accountable. And if this pseudo-marriage works for both of you, then get married. But if one or both of you do not like how it is going, go ahead and break up even if it means going through something like an emotional and probably physical divorce.

Such is the process of finding "the one," and this can happen with several different people before one finally marries. In the self-centred world of secular dating, we want as much information as possible to ensure that the right decision is being made. And if we can enjoy a little physical or emotional comfort along the way, great.

Clearly, this is not the biblical picture. The process just described is hurtful to the woman that the man purports to care about, not to mention to himself. And it clearly violates the command of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 not to wrong or defraud our sisters in Christ by implying a marriage-level commitment where one does not exist. It will have a damaging effect on the man's marriage and hers, whether they marry each other or not.

In Biblical relationship, commitment precedes intimacy. Within this model, the man should follow the admonition in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to treat all young women to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship. He should do this before spending significant time alone with her in order to avoid hurting or confusing her.

He should also seek to ensure that a significant amount of time is spent with other couples or friends rather than alone. The topics, manner, and frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquainted with each other more deeply, but not in a way that defrauds each other. There should be no physical intimacy outside the context of marriage, and the couple should seek accountability for the spiritual health and progress of the relationship, as well as for their physical and emotional intimacy.

Within this model, both parties should seek to find out, before God, whether they should be married, and whether they can service and honour God better together than apart. The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife. Of course he must get to know his courting partner well enough to make a decision on marriage. However, prior to the decision to marry, he should always engage with her emotionally in a way he would be happy for other men to engage with her.

In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honoured, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honoured. And God will be glorified.

From Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, John Piper and Justin Taylor editors, copyright 2005, pages 145-149. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com. Download for personal use only.

Christian Dating & Marriage

Christian Dating & Marriage

http://blog.christianconnection.co.uk/i-was-wondering-about-playing-against-type/

* I made a decision, some time ago had to re-post other people's blog's but this caught my attention, so I'm reposting it.*

I was wondering… about playing against type

I had a type. It changed occasionally (OK, regularly), sometimes depending on the last film I had seen or whoever I had just passed in the street. But there was always someone – a hypothetical someone – who ticked all the boxes. An invisible standard, lurking in my subconscious, by which all potential suitors would be measured. I just had to wait for him to glide majestically into view.

And then I passed 30.

Maybe you’re there already; maybe the magical milestone is still to come, but whichever side of the big 3-0 you happen to reside, there’s something you might have noticed. Although I didn’t look dramatically different – well, apart from a sudden love for support tights and elasticated waists, obviously – once word was out perceptions changed. Have you seen ‘Bride Wars’? I won’t judge you if you say yes. Thanks to my hairy, tattooed brother (yes really) I have, and a concept from it stuck in my mind. In summary: 30 is the last age a man will go out with a woman of his own age; after that, he always goes younger. A woman over 30, therefore, should expect the attentions of older men, not men the same age, who would only be interested in younger women.

Hmm. Thankfully God didn’t write ‘Bride Wars’.

And yet it seemed some people enthusiastically bought into this notion. I was suddenly suggested as the perfect companion for significantly older men. In one case, I was solemnly assured, because the gentleman in question had “never grown up” (hopefully not one of those chaps fond of wearing nappies). I was also told if I could hang on for a few more years I could catch the second-time-rounders back on the ‘market’, or even bide my time, staring intently from a distance without introduction, for some poor chaps to recover from tragically being widowed. None of it seemed terribly romantic. Slightly alarming, yes. Sinister? Just a little. A pre-defined role as a companion to the heartbroken (or Peter Pan) and I – and maybe they -didn’t get much say in what happened next. So much for having a type. I was already being typecast.

But then I looked around at couples I knew and saw a lot more variety. Differences in age, culture, race, education, height, weight and background. Men older than women but also (gasp!) women older than men. One couple born on the same day in the same year now excited about becoming grandparents. Couples who met at youth group and university and church but also couples who met on blind dates, by chance in nightclubs, even on trains. Unexpected matches in which both flourished. Where types didn’t apply, because something deeper had kicked in.

So when long-time single friends* announced they had found love with older, divorced single parents despite having devoted years to hooking super-hot, younger, uncomplicated matches it made me wonder. On paper (or online) it can seem so straightforward. This is what I want. Don’t even talk to me if you don’t fit. The delightfully misused ‘God will give me the desires of my heart’ wheeled out to justify preferences, but unless we’re perfect (except me, obviously) we need to broaden our horizons. Let character, sense of humour, inspiring conversation, kindness, even differences and challenges, draw us to others. Prepare to be surprised. See what we might be missing. Say goodbye to types and hello to possibilities.

*Male and female. Did you guess? 

Written by Vicky Walker   Posted in: Dating, Singleness

About Vicky Walker

Vicky Walker is a writer and speaker, among other things. Her book ‘Do I have to be good all the time?’ about life, love and awkward moments is available now from www.vickywalker.info

Some Thoughts on Christian Marriage, an extract from God is a Matchmaker by Derek & Ruth Prince

Some Thoughts on Christian Marriage, an extract from God is a Matchmaker by Derek & Ruth Prince

Blair Humphreys, 01/02/2013

1.     God Himself initiated marriage at the beginning of human history. Adam had no part in planning it. Without divine revelation, man cannot understand it; much less make it a part of his experience.

2.    The decision that the man was to marry proceeded from God, not from the man.3.    God knew the kind of helper that the man needed.  The man did not4.    God prepared the woman for the man5.    God presented the woman to the man. The man did not have to go in search for her6.    God ordained the nature of their life together.  Its end purpose was unity7.    Jesus upheld God's original plan of marriage as binding on all who would become His disciples. It is still in force today

Some additional thoughts, also from God are a Matchmaker:-

• That a Christian will enter into marriage not because it is his or her decision, but because it's God's.
• That a Christian man will trust God both to choose and to prepare the wife he needs.  On the other side, a Christian woman will trust God to prepare her for the husband for whom God has appointed her.
• That a Christian man, walking in the will of God, will find that God brings to him the wife whom He has chosen and prepared for him.  On the other side, a Christian woman will allow God to lead her to the husband for whom he has been preparing for her.
• That the end purpose of marriage today is still what is was for Adam & Eve: perfect unity. Only those who fulfil the first three requirements , however, can expect also to enjoy the fulfilment of the end purpose