Choices: Choose Well

Some weeks ago  I had an interview for a new job in Liverpool,  I had prayed about it and asked friends at Church to pray about it, and I expected to be offered the job  when I wasn’t offered it the job I was disappointed but the company with whom I had the interview with, offered me an interview for another job , again I prayed about and asked friends to pray about it,  and while I waited to hear if I had been successful. When I was told I had been un-successful. I wasn’t disappointed because I had already accepted a job offer from my previous employer.

While waiting for news about my interview, I felt that I needed to contact my ex-employer,  who surprisingly offered me a job for a Customer Service Agent starting on the 1^st of October on a 6 month fixed term contract,  I accepted the offer, and am starting once more to work in Liverpool, The hours are Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm.

I had phoned the agency who get the interviews in  Liverpool to see was there any feedback on my interviews,  they told me they would let me know, Then on Wednesday the agency who get me the interviews phoned me to say that the company who had the two interviews had reconsidered my application and interviews and would like to offer me the job I had the first interview for the Call Centre Agent

I’m part of The Healing Rooms team at  my Church, and some dear friends of mine who are responsible for leading the Healing Rooms had prayed for me that I would have the right job,  on the following Sunday  I was talking to an older friend at Church, and he said what would happen if I was offered two jobs,  I laughed because I didn’t except to be offered two jobs.

Once I had been offered the 2^nd job,  I know I had a choice to make:-

1.       Job A with my ex-employer is only for a 6 Month Fixed Term Contract, Full Time and pays £14,300 a year,  it’s Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm.

2.      Job B with the company who had re-considered my application  is Full Time and Permanent and pays £15,300 a year, however it’s 5 days out of 7 days and is 8am – 8pm.

I rang my friend and church leader , Geoff Grice to ask for his advice, and he helped me consider my opinions,   He asked me a great question  If  I was married with a wife and children, which job would I choose,  currently I’m single with no children, when I considered my opinions based on Geoff’s question I would have automatically gone for  Job B,   but I had a re-think about it  since then and I know I would go for Job A,  why  do you ask?

Job A although it pays £1,000 a year less, has more socialable hours,  I believe if I was a husband and a father rather than earning a £1,000 extra a year,  it’s better to give my wife and children quality time and develop family relationships and be committed to being a husband and a dad,  which means building covenant family relationships.

In our lives we all choices to make,  sometimes it’s easier to make choices such shall I go to Tesco or Asda to do my weekly Grocery Shop,  and these decisions do not have a long term effect,  sometimes we have to make decisions that have a long term effect and can effect others,  when I knew for sure that God was leading me here to Southport,  I was expected all the details to be in place, all the I’s dotted and the T’s crossed, it wasn’t.  I came up on the train, with no money, no job and nowhere to live, within 2 days, I had sorted out a flat , was on jobseekers allowance and was looking for a job.

When we make decisions, if you like me you like everything to be a simple choice,  I prayed and asked the Lord which job shall I take ?,  and the Lord told me that He trusted me enough to make the decision for myself, and there wasn’t a right or wrong decision this time. 

Sometimes we freeze, and try to think ahead  and wonder if the decisions we make are beneficial and other times we ask friends to pray for us, hoping they would make the decision for us or help us clarify our thought patterns,  I asked several friends to pray for me this week, and all the advice I’ve had has been different, and it’s easy to become confused because friends a,c,f, and h say one thing and friends b, d, e and I say something else,  however at the end of the day there is only one person who can make the decision and that’s ourself!

I had an interesting update on Facebook earlier this week, some dear friends are starting a " new expression of church" here in Southport and I love my friends dearly,  it's easy to consider because my friends have been an inspiration to me that I consider a) joining this " new expression " of church, b) to be part of this " new expression " of church and remain part of my current church, none of the meeting times clash and after prayerful consideration there was no choice to make,  I will remain committed to my church family because God has both called me and planted me in my home church,  it's easy to go with the flow and think it doesn't matter if I jump or partially jump ship and join this " new expression" of church but it's more important to remain plugged in where I am because I'm home and I'm in covenant with my church family, I'm sure others will join this " new expression" of church and I believe God will prosper them, but for me I'm home, and although the grass may seem greener on the other side it's not necessarily greener!

Choose Life

Deuteronomy 30 :15-20 New American Standard Bible

15 “See, (S)I have set before you today life and [t]prosperity, and death and [u]adversity; 16 in that I command you today (T)to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that you (U)may live and multiply, and that the Lord your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it. 17 But if your heart turns away and you will not obey, but are drawn away and worship other gods and serve them, 18 I declare to you today that (V)you shall surely perish. You will not prolong your days in the land where you are crossing the Jordan to enter [v]and possess it. 19 (W)I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, (X)the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your [w]descendants, 20 (Y)by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and (Z)by holding fast to Him; (AA)for [x]this is your life and the length of your days, [y]that you may live in (AB)the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

How to Stay Above the Perilous Line Between Marriage and Divorce, from AllPRODAD

12:00PM EDT 9/12/2013     ALLPRODAD.COM STAFF

Strong marriage

On very rare and special occasions, we will see a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. So many things have to fall into place for a couple to make it that long together that it can nearly be considered a miracle only God could have bestowed.

Not only does the couple have to fight off all the sharp, poison-tipped arrows of life, but just the simple fragile nature of the human body makes it very hard for both to make it that far. It is pretty safe to say that, on their wedding day, most couples visualize being that pair that grows old so gracefully together.

Statistics say the odds are stacked against them, but it is a victory that can be won. It requires great passion from both in the marriage, and it demands a steadfast resolve to be the exception and not the rule.

Here are eight key ingredients to creating a strong, robust marriage that can go the distance:

1.  Time management. Every quality recipe starts with a base and, in a strong marriage, time is the base—the solid foundation that will not crack under the pressures from outside. Time must be managed in the proper way to achieve success at whatever our prime objective is, and that is especially true in our marital relationships. We must be present and actively participating. Why is the phrase “We just drifted apart” so often heard? Time not well-spent.

2.  Communication—talk to her. Communication is everything to a woman. It is the spark to all things in the relationship for her, including the romantic part. Love without communication will not sustain. There are many ways to do this, so that does not mean if you are a man of few words, you can’t still have your own unique forms of communication. However, words had better be present, because if your wife feels isolated and alone in the marriage, soon you will too.

3. Full respect. A man that respects his wife doesn’t belittle or demean her. Many marriages include one partner that is a bully in the union, and it goes both ways. If happiness as well as longevity are the goal, then healthy respect for the feelings and opinions of your spouse is essential.

4.  Take ownership and responsibility. A fully grown man carries the burden of responsibility for his family. No matter the financial circumstances or personality traits, in the end it is the husband that is the head of the household. Along with the title comes the great responsibility required of it. A great many men like the title but hate the actual duty. Responsibility can’t be delegated. Blame can’t be assigned elsewhere, and childish attempts to point fingers only lead to destruction. A man leads his family with a generous and kind spirit, and he has the heart of a warrior to protect it. The buck stops with you in all cases.

5. Compassion and sympathy. Arthur H. Stainback says, “The value of compassion cannot be overemphasized. Anyone can criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands.” Your bride needs your deepest compassion and sympathy along your journey together. She will follow you to the ends of the earth if you give her this.

6. True romance. To be a romantic husband means far more than anything that goes on behind closed doors. Intimacy, friendship and a pure bond between you both of deep respect for the other person is what creates true romance. Physical meets mental in a perfect union of exactly the type of love that will make it to 50 years. If you have these connections, they will sustain you through the hard times—the years when your children prohibit much physical intimacy, the days when you feel beat up by the world but know there is always one person who has your back. This is what is meant by two becoming one.

7. Self-sacrifice. Being second is not an easy thing to do. It takes humility, lack of envy in your heart and, most importantly, a desire to lead with only the bigger picture in mind. It doesn’t mean you neglect your own needs to the point that you vanish, but it does mean placing the needs of your wife and family above your own—because they actually are your own. There are many examples that could be listed for this, but use your imagination to fit your own circumstances. A smile put on the face of a loved one is a million times more valuable than anything of a temporary or material nature. It is the difference between fool’s gold and the real thing.

8.  Healthy lifestyle. Obviously if you are going to make it to a 50th anniversary, it’s going to require using these strategies. But it will also mean that you both share good health into your later years. Put away the bad habits. Cut out the senseless anger and stress. Eat well and exercise. Peer deep into the future and think about what you want to see in it. Anything you come up with will need you to be healthy.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

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