John
is every pastor’s dream member. He’s a life-long believer, well-studied in the
Bible, gives generously and leads others passionately.
But
last year he dropped out of church. He didn’t switch to the other church down
the road. He dropped out completely. His departure wasn’t the result of an ugly
encounter with a staff person or another member. It wasn’t triggered by any
single event.
John
had come to a long-considered, thoughtful decision. He said, “I’m just done.
I’m done with church.”
John
is one in a growing multitude of ex-members. They’re sometimes called the
de-churched. They have not abandoned their faith. They have not joined the
also-growing legion of those with no religious affiliation—often called the
Nones. Rather, John has joined the Dones.
At
Group’s recent Future of the Church conference, sociologist Josh Packard shared
some of his groundbreaking research on the Dones. He explained these
de-churched were among the most dedicated and active people in their
congregations. To an increasing degree, the church is losing its best.
For
the church, this phenomenon sets up a growing danger. The very people on whom a
church relies for lay leadership, service and financial support are going away.
And the problem is compounded by the fact that younger people in the next
generation, the Millennials, are not lining up to refill the emptying pews.
Why
are the Dones done? Packard describes several factors in his upcoming book
Church Refugees (Group). Among the reasons: After sitting through countless
sermons and Bible studies, they feel they’ve heard it all. One of Packard’s
interviewees said, “I’m tired of being lectured to. I’m just done with having
some guy tell me what to do.”
The
Dones are fatigued with the Sunday routine of plop, pray and pay. They want to
play. They want to participate. But they feel spurned at every turn.
Will
the Dones return? Not likely, according to the research. They’re done. Packard
says it would be more fruitful if churches would focus on not losing these
people in the first place. Preventing an exodus is far easier than attempting
to convince refugees to return.
