Sunday, 23 June 2013

Orphans of the EU meltdown: The shocking picture that shows how middle class parents in Greece are dumping their children in orphanages so they won't starve By IAN BIRRELL


PUBLISHED: 23:27, 22 June 2013 | UPDATED: 02:04, 23 June 2013
·          Isaiah 58:5ff
 
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
    only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
    and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
    a day acceptable to the Lord?
‘Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter –
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: here am I.
‘If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
    Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
13 ‘If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
    and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
    and the Lord’s holy day honourable,
and if you honour it by not going your own way
    and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the Lord,
    and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
    and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.’
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Laughing children play in a pine-scented courtyard on a warm summer’s evening. 
Excitement rises to fever pitch as a creamy chocolate gateau is sliced. It appears a timeless, idyllic scene – but in reality it is a very modern Greek tragedy.
For this cloistered red-brick building in a wealthy suburb of Athens is a children’s home. Yet many of those youngsters are not orphans or the products of dysfunctional families. 
Alexandros and Olga Eleftheriadou visiting their children Nicholas and Victoria at the Zanneio Child Care Institution
Desperate: Alexandros and Olga Eleftheriadou visiting their children Nicholas and Victoria at the Zanneio Child Care Institution
Instead, they are forgotten victims of the Eurozone crisis, handed over by parents who can no longer afford to feed them.
The financial meltdown in Greece has caused pain and suffering throughout the country. But in a nation where the idea of family is central to everyday life, its youngest citizens are bearing some of the heaviest burdens of the crisis.

More...
Scores of children have been put in orphanages and care homes for economic reasons; one charity said 80 of the 100 children in its residential centres were there because their families can no longer provide for them.
Ten per cent of Greek children are said to be at risk of hunger. Teachers talk of cancelling PE lessons because children are underfed and of seeing pupils pick through bins for food. 
At the Zanneio Child Care Institution, I was proffered a piece of cake by nine-year-old Nicolas Eleftheriadou. When I asked him how he was, he replied with a shy grin: ‘I’m as tough as a walnut.’ 
His parents, Olga and Alexandros, had arrived to take their three oldest children home for the weekend; the children attend the unit from Monday to Friday. The friendly couple both lost jobs in catering two years ago; he delivered pizzas, she worked in a sandwich shop.
Alexandros and Olga Eleftheriadou can no longer afford to feed their children after the Eurozone crisis
Tough decisions: Alexandros and Olga Eleftheriadou can no longer afford to feed their children after the Eurozone crisis
With five children, they struggled to survive on social security of £400 a month, boosted by odd jobs in the black economy. They want proper work, but there are few jobs.
Olga’s widowed mother tried to protect the family, providing food and funds from her own meagre benefits as a cancer patient. Sadly, it was not enough – and so for more than a year Nicolas, his eight-year-old brother and seven-year-old sister have been sent to Zanneio, an hour from their home on the other side of Athens.
The couple admitted it was incredibly painful. ‘It was so hard, incredibly hard, especially at the start,’ Olga says. ‘I could hardly bear it. The children have got used to it. The one consolation is they seem happier now and their teachers are very kind and caring.’
The Eleftheriadous’ story highlights the harshness of life in modern Greece, where the economy is in freefall – it is still shrinking at five per cent a year – and the unemployment rate is the highest in Europe. 
Almost a third of adults are jobless, along with two-thirds of under-25s. But even those in work struggle. Private sector wages have fallen by 30 per cent in four years and painful new taxes have been imposed as the country is crucified by its adherence to the euro. 
In the few days I was in Athens, Greece was demoted by the financial markets from ‘developed nation’ to ‘emerging market’ status, a human rights group condemned the appalling scapegoating of migrants and the state broadcaster ERT was switched off by the government to cut costs. 
The closure of ERT shocked Greeks and reminded outsiders of the scale  of the country’s crisis. The move  shattered the fragile three-party governing coalition with the smallest  pulling out – and could force the third general election in just over a year.
Olga Eleftheriadou holding two of her five children, who live at the home from Monday to Friday
Strain: Olga Eleftheriadou holding two of her five children, who live at the home from Monday to Friday
Under the EU-imposed austerity programme, Greece must lose 150,000 of its 800,000 public sector jobs, many the product of political patronage and a key cause – alongside rampant tax evasion – of the huge debts dragging down this nation of 11million. 
Such is the scale of the crisis that Greece’s economic contraction is already twice as deep as Britain’s during the Great Depression of the 1930s.
Little wonder staff at Zanneio – which sits amid the beautiful villas of film stars, financiers and even a former prime minister – have seen so many heartbreaking cases.
One family was forced to put four children aged between six and 14 in the home after the father’s restaurant went bust with such big debts he was jailed under hardline new laws and their mother was unable to cope.
An angelic-looking 11-year-old girl told me how much she looked forward to seeing her mother each Friday. Her father was dead, her mother unemployed and unable to afford her upkeep; she had been there two years already. Such cases upset those involved in childcare. ‘It is not in the Greek culture for families to split up,’ said Menelaos Tsaoussis, 45, the foundation’s former director. ‘These situations are so traumatic for the families.’
Another charity last year reported four children, including a newborn baby, dumped on its doorstep. One toddler was found holding a note saying: ‘I will not be coming to pick up Anna today because I cannot afford to look after her. Please take good care of her. Sorry.’
The Child’s Smile, a Greek charity for families in crisis, said it helped 10,927 children last year with emergency supplies of food, clothes, shoes, school books and psychological support. The previous year, the number was 4,465. 
‘We used to have people only from the lowest economic level but now we are seeing people from upper middle levels when they lose their jobs and have nowhere to go,’ said Tania Schiza, a social worker with the group.
Often these ‘new poor’ are reluctant to seek support, worsening their plight. 
Nine-year-old Nicholas with the other children running to the backyard of the orphanage
Staying cheerful: Nine-year-old Nicholas with the other children running to the backyard of the orphanage
‘We have some cases where families who used to donate money have become victims of the crisis.
‘Now they come to us for help,’ said Schiza. 
‘All of these families are deeply disappointed. They feel whatever they do, nothing can be done to change their circumstances in the crisis.’
Other charities told similar stories. SOS Children’s Villages helped 47 families five years ago; today it is helping 900 and opening new centres across Greece to stave off family breakdown amid soaring poverty.
Many turning to them are from formerly prosperous middle-class families; among the restaurant owners, shopkeepers and businessmen was one senior executive with a major company who had lost his job.
Like all such groups, it strives to keep families together. Despite this, with financial pressures growing more intense by the day as savings dwindle and firms collapse, a handful of children in its homes have been given up by impoverished parents. 
Eight-year-old Vallia Georgitsi's mother Metaxia is struggling to cope
Threat: Eight-year-old Vallia Georgitsi's mother Metaxia is struggling to cope
‘This is a major shift in Greek society over the past three years,’ said Pavlos Salihos, a teacher and trained psychologist at the children’s village in Vari. ‘We never had cases like this before; it was just social problems such as drug abuse.’
Another official with SOS Children’s Villages said some youngsters were in such bad shape they could barely talk. One school said one in six of its students suffered malnutrition. In others teachers have started handing out fruit, sandwiches and milk. A public health body believes food security levels in Greece have fallen to those of some African countries. Social workers said they look out for children who simply give up on school work, the first sign of mental trauma caused by the crisis.
Suicide rates and mental health problems across all ages have risen sharply over the past three years; on my previous visit, I came across a woman who had lost her job and was threatening to jump from her office. One newspaper has said Greece was a ‘society on the verge of a nervous breakdown’. 
Ironically, the image has grown of Greeks as feckless and lazy, although studies have found more entrepreneurs per head and longer working hours than elsewhere in Europe. 
But to make matters worse, as demand soars from desperate parents, the maelstrom that has engulfed Greece is making it harder for cash-strapped charities to keep such centres open. 
On Friday, the day I visited, the foundation that runs Zanneio was marking its closure and merger with another group; the buildings have been bought by the church for training priests. 
Although its 19th Century founders endowed it with dozens of properties, the foundation’s rental income fell in the financial crisis from £1.3million to £850,000, while new taxes imposed by a government scrabbling around for funds took an extra £300,000 a year. 
The centre has been taken over by Hatzikonsta – the oldest children’s welfare organisation in Greece, founded by a family of wealthy traders 160 years ago. Hatzikonsta has already seen the number of children it is supporting rise more than four-fold since the crisis began – and four-fifths of children in its residential care are there for economic reasons.
Yet it, too, is struggling to survive. It is owed more than £850,000 from property rentals; already its 72 staff have taken substantial salary cuts. ‘I feel I must have been Genghis Khan in a previous life for such punishment,’ joked Leonidas Dragoumanos, the director trying to juggle the finances.
Metaxia Georgitsi, 40, a single mother of three, put her oldest child – a 14-year-old boy – in full-time care after seeing her income from cleaning work fall by nearly two-thirds, then losing her job and trying to survive on benefits of £300 a month. 
‘We both cried every day to begin with,’ she said. ‘I tried to visit him every day, which made it a bit better, but it was hard. 
‘Without a husband, what else could I do – we had no option. 
‘It was very difficult – I had loans to pay and did not have enough money for food. But at least they helped him with his homework there and he ate properly.’
After one year, the family was reunited last autumn when the boy came home. But now her unemployment benefits are due to stop after a year without work and she may have to rent out her home, which she retains only because her elderly parents pay the mortgage.
Ian Birrell went to Athens where he heard middle-class families' concerns that they could not look after themselves
Special report: Ian Birrell went to Athens where he heard middle-class families' concerns that they could not look after themselves
‘I just don’t know what I can do in the future,’ said Metaxia, who believes single-parent families have been hit especially hard. ‘The crisis has undone us. I fear I may have to put my boy back in the orphanage, send my girls to live with my mother and I will stay with a friend. Then the family will be completely split up. It’s the worst possible scenario.’ 
Amid the soup kitchens, shut-down shops and scavengers on the streets, there is one sliver of good to emerge from this Greek catastrophe: the rediscovery of self-help and communal values as the welfare state is gutted and people pull together. 
In Marousi, a suburb of Athens that has had a 70 per cent cut in state funding, mayor Giorgos Patoulis has led a drive to open a health centre treating 6,000 uninsured patients, food kitchens, clothing banks and even a pharmacy staffed by volunteers and stocked with donations.
‘The mentality had to change and there are signs of a new solidarity,’ he said. ‘But if this crisis extends much further, how will we be able to take care of all our people?’
It is a question many more Greeks are asking, especially those thousands of parents teetering on the edge of the abyss. Most would echo the words of Amalia Ntougia, 46, a widowed mother of three from Marousi whose shop closed in the crisis. Although living off handouts and crumbs from her disabled father’s small pension, when asked if she would give up her children to a care home, she replied indignantly: ‘No, I am a Greek mother.’
Tragically, for many Greek parents, even such intense family pride is no longer enough.
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Psalm 68:3-6a NIV may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God;


 

3 But may the righteous be glad
    and rejoice before God;
    may they be happy and joyful.
4 Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,
    extol him who rides on the clouds;
    rejoice before him – his name is the Lord.
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling.

6 God sets the lonely in families,

Psalm 122 New American Standard Bible (NASB) A Song of Ascents, of David.


Psalm 122

 I was glad when they said to me,
“Let us go to the house of the Lord.”
Our feet are standing
Within your gates, O Jerusalem,
Jerusalem, that is built
As a city that is compact together;
To which the tribes go up, even the tribes of the Lord
An ordinance for Israel—
To give thanks to the name of the Lord.
For there thrones were set for judgment,
The thrones of the house of David.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
“May they prosper who love you.
“May peace be within your walls,
And prosperity within your palaces.”
For the sake of my brothers and my friends,
I will now say, “May peace be within you.”
For the sake of the house of the Lord our God,
I will seek your good.


Saturday, 22 June 2013

Yet for this reason I found mercy, The Difference between Justification and Sanctification


1 Timothy 1:15-16
New American Standard Bible (NASB)




15 It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. 16 Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those [a]who would believe in Him for eternal life.

The Justification and Sanctification of believers through the finished work of Christ, in my previous post we briefly examined the important doctrine of Justification, which in many ways is part of the bigger picture of Salvation and the Christian life and walk, today we will examine briefly the important doctrine of Sanctification which follows on from Justification.

1)   Now let us look at the differences between Justification and Sanctification

Justification
Sanctification
Legal Standing
Internal Condition
Once for all time
Continuous throughout life
Entirely God’s work
We co-operate with God
Perfect in this life
Not perfect in this life
The same in all Christians
Greater in some than in others

Sanctification differs from justification in several ways. Justification is a one-time work of God, resulting in a declaration of “not guilty” before Him because of the work of Christ on the cross. Sanctification is a process, beginning with justification and continuing throughout life. Justification is the starting point of the line that represents one’s Christian life; sanctification is the line itself

2)   Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives

 Sanctification is the process of renewal and consecration by which believers are made holy through the work of the Holy Spirit. Sanctification is the consequence of justification and is dependent upon a person being in a right relationship with God.

Sanctification is applied justification. By its very nature justification does not have a progressive character. It is God's declaration of righteousness. The focus of justification is the removal of the guilt of sin. The focus of sanctification is the healing of the dysfunctionality of sin. Since all spiritual blessings, justification and sanctification included, are the Christian's the moment he or she is "in Christ" sanctification is total and final in one sense Yet, unlike justification, sanctification also continues until it will be consummated when Jesus Christ returns. For then we will be like him, perfect and complete.Sanctification, therefore, has an initial, progressive, and final phase. A believer's present preoccupation is with progressive sanctification, by which the child of God lives out the implications of initial sanctification with an eye to the goal of final sanctification. The sanctified life is victorious, though it is lived out in the context of temptation and suffering. God promises the "overcomers" in Revelation 2 and 3 to restore all that was lost in the fall, in sanctification; the believer is simply applying the implications of his or her justification.

3)   A believer grows in sanctification by living according to his or her new identity
 Sanctification, defined broadly as the work of God’s grace in man’s perfection in righteousness, begins when he becomes a believer and hence is “in Christ.” It continues progressively until death brings him into Christ’s presence unless he “does despite to the Spirit of grace.” It is only as one by dedication and faith realizes in actuality what is provided in the atonement that this grace is experienced; it does not follow as a matter of course, as the exhortations in the NT imply. Parallel to the work of sanctification is the infilling of the Holy Spirit in the believer, perfection in love, having the “mind of Christ,” and “walking as he walked.”

There are many things that I can say about Sanctification but more importantly that I what I can stay about Sanctification is what the Bible says about Sanctification.  

Now let us look at some scriptures in regards to Sanctification

1)   Romans 6:15-19 15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! 16 Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin [j]resulting in death, or of obedience [k]resulting in righteousness? 17 But thanks are to God that [l]though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. 19 I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, [m]resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, [n]resulting in sanctification.

2)   1 Corinthians 1:30 30 But [u]by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, [v]and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption.

3)   I Thessalonians 5:23-24 23 now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

4)   I Thessalonians 4:1-8 4 finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to [a]walk and please God (just as you actually do [b]walk), that you excel still more. 2 For you know what commandments we gave you [c]by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from [d]sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to [e]possess his own [f]vessel in sanctification and honour, 5 not in [g]lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but [h]in sanctification. 8 So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you

5)   2 Thessalonians 2:13-17 13 But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you [o]from the beginning for salvation [p]through sanctification [q]by the Spirit and faith in the truth. 14 It was for this He called you through our gospel, [r]that you may gain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught, whether by word of mouth or by letter [s]from us.16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, 17 comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.

Wait on the Lord… or take action?

When it Comes to the Gay Agenda, Reduce Fear But Speak Truth

When it Comes to the Gay Agenda, Reduce Fear But Speak Truth

Friday, 21 June 2013

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners,

1 Tim 1:15-16
 15 It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance,that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all16 Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those [l]who would believe in Him for eternal life. 

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me wrote the former slave ship captain, a person we now recognise has the Anglican Vicar and Hymn Writer John Newton.

Some 2,000 years ago, a man was lead to his death by an occupying army to die a death that was both humiliating and agonising, both the political and religious authorities had conspired to end the live of this one man because they felt threated by his message and popularity his friends had run away from him and where now in hiding, one of his friends had betrayed him and one of his closest friends had denied him, he was beaten and bloodied, and was led to certain death by public execution, of all the tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands who shared his fate or will share his fate including some of his latter disciples, this one death out of thousands of similar deaths of those who had been crucified on a cross of wood, this one death was and is of eternal significance, this death bought God’s Gift of Salvation, the forgiveness of sins, The Redemption of Mankind.

When our Lord Jesus came, He had one mission in mind, he voluntary laid aside his divine attributes and was born by a woman, he lived a normal life in seeming obscurity, he launched his mission by these words The Spirit of the Lord is upon me see Luke 4:18-19, he had been tempted to sin by the deceiver and accuser Satan, yet had not sinned, indeed there was no sin found in Him, his mission then and now is to save sinners. John the Baptist said these words when Jesus came to him to be baptised in Water, Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, and see John 1:28-30.

What do we mean by the Word, sin?

Sin means missing the mark, failure, offense, taking the wrong course, sin, guilt, it’s also used in the New Testament in a generic sense of concrete wrongdoing, a principle and quality of action, and as a sinful deed this includes acts/desires/passions. Sin separates us from God the father because of sin we are unable to have a relationship with Him, Man has tried to find a way to have a relationship with God, and because of our sinful nature we have failed, yet God has provided us the way to Him , see John 14:6.

Let us look now, how Sin came into a perfect World, we all know that when Adam & Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, they were deceived by satan, see Romans 5:6-21 that because of the fall, sin entered a perfect world, we have inherited sin because we come from Adam & Eve and because of this we have a sinful nature and the desire and inclination to sin, see Romans 3:21-26.

Because no man is born without sin, and we have  sinful desires and inclinations, it is impossible for a man to die in our place for our sins,  God sent his Son Jesus, who voluntary died in our place for our sins, He died as our substitute he took the place we deserve, paid the price that we should really pay, he surrendered his life that we may live, he laid aside his relationship to his father, so that through him and his sacrifice we can enter into a relationship with His Father, and our Father see 2 Corinthians 5:14-21


Next for this reason I found Mercy

Yet for this reason I found Mercy



1 Timothy 1:15-16
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
15 It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all16 Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those [a]who would believe in Him for eternal life.

When I was growing up, one of my favourite hymns, was “At Calvary” which goes like this

Years I spent in vanity and pride,
caring not my Lord was crucified,
knowing not it was for me He died on Calvary.

Refrain
Mercy there was great, and grace was free;
Pardon there was multiplied to me;
there my burdened soul found liberty at Calvary.

By God’s Word at last my sin I learned;
Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,
Till my guilty soul imploring turned to Calvary.
Now I’ve given to Jesus everything,
now I gladly own Him as my King,
Now my raptured soul can only sing of Calvary!

Oh, the love that drew salvation’s plan!
Oh, the grace that brought it down to man!
Oh, the mighty gulf that God did span at Calvary!

The chorus goes Mercy there was great, and grace was free; Pardon there was multiplied to me; there my burdened soul found liberty at Calvary.

Last week we looked at the phrase, That Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, this week we follow on from the looking at the phrase, yet for this reason I received mercy, We have received Mercy because Jesus came and died for our sins, he died in our place and because he died and rose from the dead, we have been given God’s gift of Salvation, now us look at Mercy
In the New Testament, the word Mercy is often used of Christ’s gracious faithfulness and proof of His benevolence. Mercy is not merely a passive emotion, but an active desire to remove the cause of distress in others.

Now let us look at some scriptures that speak of Mercy,

1)   Ephesians 2:1-10 v4 -7 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead [f]in our transgressions, made us alive together [g]with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

2)   Titus 3:3-7 v5 – 6  5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Saviour.

3)   Romans 9:14-24  v 22- 23 22 [n]What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? 23 And He did so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory

4)   1 Peter 1:3-9 v 3-5 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time

5)   1 Peter 2:1-12 v 9-10 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellences of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvellous light; 10 for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
 
 we will look at 1 Tim 1:16 yet for this reason, I received Mercy, where we will look at Scriptures in regards to the Justification & Sanctification of us the Believer.

Criminal law to be changed to protect marriage beliefs

Criminal law to be changed to protect marriage beliefs

How to Win a Woman's Heart MAR 25, 2013 |JOSHUA ROGERS




There was a time during my unmarried years when I was trying so hard to get dating right that I just ended up getting it weird.

There was a time during my unmarried years when I griped that the only women who were drawn to me were "old ladies, female relatives and little girls." I wondered what was wrong with all the eligible bachelorettes who were overlooking me. I should have asked myself what was wrong with me. I might have realized that I was trying so hard to get dating right that I just ended up getting it weird.

I think back to the many first dates where I discussed my thoughts on marriage before we had even finished our meals – weird. Then there was the excessive verbal processing of every little step in the relationship – so weird. And there were the countless dates that I managed to ruin by rambling on like I was talking to my therapist. It was embarrassingly weird, and it was all done to create an artificial sense of closeness and thereby force the outcome of marriage. It did not work.

On the other hand, some of the guys I knew had the opposite problem. Where I was trying to get engaged by the end of the third date, they could never seem to make it to the first one. Either they were apathetic to engaging with women one-on-one, or they actually believed that ambiguous social interactions were enough to keep things moving – well, it kept them moving alright: toward frustration and resentment on the part of the women who couldn't figure out where they stood with these guys.

In retrospect, I think we all could've used a good verbal shin-kicking to yank us out of our alternate realities. There's no guarantee it would have actually worked (heaven knows some people certainly tried), but if I could go back in time and be the one to make the speech, here's what I would have said.

Deal With Yourself

Before you're ever going to win a woman's heart, you've got to deal with your own. I'm not saying that you've got to be fully mature to pursue a woman, or no man would ever get married. What I'm saying is, if you've got a drinking problem, major credit card debt, serious daddy/mommy issues, a porn addiction – if you've dropped out of college multiple times and you can't keep a job, please don't invite a woman into that mess.

Get yourself into counselling, and while you're at it, do whatever it takes to be friends with an older, stable, married guy. Be completely transparent with these mentors and with God, and ask for help in moving toward stability. Why? Because part of what makes you so weird with women is the fact that you've got baggage that you're always subconsciously trying to hide. They sense it – even if they can't put their finger on it – and it leaves them feeling slightly uneasy.
Talking and praying through your issues with these mentors will help you change and be more confident as you introduce the real you to women. A healthy woman will pick up on the fact that you feel comfortable with yourself, and it will go a long way toward helping her feel the same way. But once you've done the work of making yourself more emotionally attractive, don't start aimlessly pursing women just because they'll say "yes" when you ask them out.

Decide Whether You're Interested

Every woman likes a man who is interesting, but a healthy woman will only be drawn to a man who is also interested. If you're just showing up in a woman's life to take her for a friendly test drive, she will sense it, and she won't feel completely safe. So figure out if you're drawn to her before you start pursuing. It will go a long way toward helping her trust you.

I'm not saying you can't make a move until you've figured out you want to marry her. I'm just saying you need to evaluate what you know about her and decide whether there's something about her that intrigues you. If there isn't, no need to waste her time. But if there is, don't just sit on your hands and hope she figures it out.

Let Her Know You're Interested

A few weeks into dating my wife, we were talking on the phone when she mentioned that she had enjoyed "hanging out" with me. I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I was afraid that she might have misunderstood my intentions – I mean, when I'm "hanging out" with friends, I don't pay for their meal, wear my Friday night best, or gently touch their back while crossing the street.
So I said, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you think this relationship is?"
"I guess I would call it a really special friendship," she said.

"Whoa," I replied. "Then I need to clear things up. I'm not sure where this relationship is ultimately going, but when I meet a woman who is as beautiful, intelligent and spiritually mature as you, I don't spend time with her so that I can make a new 'friend.' I've got plenty of those. I'm spending time with you because I'm attracted to you. I just want to make sure you understand that."

"Oh," she said, seeming taken aback by my forwardness.

I knew it wasn't a perfect execution, but it was a vast improvement from the days when I would have freaked her out with some over-the-top, premature diatribe about pursuing marriage. And my approach was a lot better than some of my friends, who were spending all kinds of time with women without ever making their intentions clear.

As it turns out, even though my wife was, in fact, taken aback by my bluntness, she also liked it very much. She says it brought clarity, made her feel honoured, and quieted some of her nagging insecurities about whether I was actually into her.

So what I'm saying is, if you're attracted to a woman and that's the reason you're spending time with her, don't assume that's obvious to her. Say something – anything to let her know you're not just looking for another friendship (and not over text, email or Facebook – do I really have to say that?). And when the two of you start spending more time together, and she makes it clear the feeling is mutual, don't stop there.

Keep Reassuring Her

It's going to take some work to win a woman over – huge investments of time, money and humility. And as you make these investments in the relationship, they will provide little sources of momentum in your pursuit of the title "boyfriend." The problem comes when you assume that winning that title means you've won her heart. It does not.

No matter how confident and emotionally stable a woman may be, she will always need to be reassured of your love – not just while you're dating, but throughout engagement and all the different phases of marriage. That's right. Putting a ring on her finger – even a wedding band – won't totally resolve her lingering insecurities about whether your love can be trusted. In fact, you'll just be getting started.

The thing is, after you get married, what you do will mean so much more than what you say in your pursuit of her heart. Your words will still matter very much, but to breathe new life into phrases like “I love you” and “You’re beautiful,” you’ll have to practice the art of thankless chores, unconditional forgiveness, unconditional apologies, random acts of sweetness, and spiritual leadership, to name a few.

If all that hard work sounds overwhelming, don't give up.

There's a Way Forward

Maybe you're thinking that winning a woman's heart will require you to act like someone you're not. Well, you're right; it will. And here's why: She's not a man – she's not you, so meeting her unique needs won't come naturally. That's why you'll need some objective, outside help from the aforementioned stable married guy, a counsellor, or better yet, from a few women who care about you enough to tell you the truth.

Applying their advice will often be counterintuitive and involve making rookie mistakes as you learn the dying art of romancing a woman. But if you humbly approach the process like a student, you'll change in ways that make you more attractive to women, and eventually you'll develop an instinct for helping a woman feel secure in your love. Essentially, you'll learn how to care about her needs as much as you care about your own (Ephesians 5:28-29). And even if that doesn't instantly result in your meeting the woman of your dreams, at least when she shows up, you'll be better equipped to be the man of hers.


Copyright 2013 Joshua Rogers. All rights reserved.

What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?


JAN 12, 2006 |SCOTT CROFT
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Courtship and dating — is one more biblical than the other? Learn more about the motive, mind-set and methods of each. 

Given this biblical theology of sex and marriage [presented in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ], what does a healthy, biblical dating or courting relationship look like in practice?

The attempt to answer that question has brought about a literary flood over the last several years, with different works bearing different levels of usefulness. A few examples include Boundaries in Dating; Boy Meets Girl; I Kissed Dating Goodbye; I Hugged Dating Hello; I Gave Dating a Chance; Her Hand in Marriage; The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mar. Right; and Wandering Toward the Altar.

These columns can be divided into two groups. One group generally supports the method of "dating" and attempts to instruct readers to date in a "Christian" way. The other group rejects the current dating method altogether as biblically flawed. It advocates an alternative system, which most describe as "courtship." In my reading, the book on this topic that seems the most sound theologically and practically is called Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris (he is also the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye).

What is the difference between courtship and dating, and is one more biblical than the other? I will provide a working definition of each, describe how the two methods are broadly different, and then recommend why one method is fundamentally more biblical than the other.

Defining Courtship and Dating

Let's begin by defining courtship. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal.

What then is dating? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

The Differences between Courtship and Dating

 What are the differences in these two systems? For our purposes, there are three broad differences between what has been called biblical courtship and modern dating.

1. The Difference in Motive

The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive — to find a spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and women being given in marriage (see Matt. 24:38Luke 20:34-35).

Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship, and marriage of a couple — always with marriage in view. I am not advocating arranged marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. These passages do not argue that marriage should be the direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.
Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before finding the person that is just right for you. The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the "right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical support for such an approach to marriage? There is none. How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see among God's people in the Bible? Zero. The category of premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context of grievous sexual sin.

The motive for dating or courting is marriage. The practical advice I give the singles at our church is, if you cannot happily see yourself as a married man (or woman) in less than one year, then you are not ready to date.

2. The Difference in Mind-set

The second major difference between biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. What do I mean by that? Modern dating is essentially a selfish endeavour. I do not mean maliciously selfish, as in "I'm going to try to hurt you for my benefit." I mean an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about me. After all, what is the main question everyone asks about dating, falling in love, and getting married? "How do I know if I've found the one?" What is the unspoken ending to that question? "For me." Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? How does she look? What is the chemistry like? Have I done as well as I can do?

I cannot tell you how many men I have counselled who are terrified to commit, worrying that as soon as they do, "something better will come walking around the corner."

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day. Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her — a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.
In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" while biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one for her?"

3. The Difference in Methods

Third, and most practically, modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy.

According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. Spend large amounts of time alone together. Become each other's primary emotional confidantes. Share your deepest secrets and desires. Get to know that person better than anyone else in your life. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy. What you do and say together is private and is no one else's business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else's authority or be accountable. And if this pseudo-marriage works for both of you, then get married. But if one or both of you do not like how it is going, go ahead and break up even if it means going through something like an emotional and probably physical divorce.

Such is the process of finding "the one," and this can happen with several different people before one finally marries. In the self-centred world of secular dating, we want as much information as possible to ensure that the right decision is being made. And if we can enjoy a little physical or emotional comfort along the way, great.

Clearly, this is not the biblical picture. The process just described is hurtful to the woman that the man purports to care about, not to mention to himself. And it clearly violates the command of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 not to wrong or defraud our sisters in Christ by implying a marriage-level commitment where one does not exist. It will have a damaging effect on the man's marriage and hers, whether they marry each other or not.

In Biblical relationship, commitment precedes intimacy. Within this model, the man should follow the admonition in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to treat all young women to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship. He should do this before spending significant time alone with her in order to avoid hurting or confusing her.

He should also seek to ensure that a significant amount of time is spent with other couples or friends rather than alone. The topics, manner, and frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquainted with each other more deeply, but not in a way that defrauds each other. There should be no physical intimacy outside the context of marriage, and the couple should seek accountability for the spiritual health and progress of the relationship, as well as for their physical and emotional intimacy.

Within this model, both parties should seek to find out, before God, whether they should be married, and whether they can service and honour God better together than apart. The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife. Of course he must get to know his courting partner well enough to make a decision on marriage. However, prior to the decision to marry, he should always engage with her emotionally in a way he would be happy for other men to engage with her.

In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honoured, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honoured. And God will be glorified.


From Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, John Piper and Justin Taylor editors, copyright 2005, pages 145-149. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com. 

In Christ Alone





In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.


There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.



Stuart Townend

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