Amazing Grace Hymn

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

The world shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun refuse to shine;

But God, who called me here below,

Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun,

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than when we'd first begun.

John Newton

Christian Marriage and Dating

I was wondering… about playing against type

I had a type. It changed occasionally (OK, regularly), sometimes depending on the last film I had seen or whoever I had just passed in the street. But there was always someone – a hypothetical someone – who ticked all the boxes. An invisible standard, lurking in my subconscious, by which all potential suitors would be measured. I just had to wait for him to glide majestically into view.

And then I passed 30.

Maybe you’re there already; maybe the magical milestone is still to come, but whichever side of the big 3-0 you happen to reside, there’s something you might have noticed. Although I didn’t look dramatically different – well, apart from a sudden love for support tights and elasticated waists, obviously – once word was out perceptions changed. Have you seen ‘Bride Wars’? I won’t judge you if you say yes. Thanks to my hairy, tattooed brother (yes really) I have, and a concept from it stuck in my mind. In summary: 30 is the last age a man will go out with a woman of his own age; after that, he always goes younger. A woman over 30, therefore, should expect the attentions of older men, not men the same age, who would only be interested in younger women.

Hmm. Thankfully God didn’t write ‘Bride Wars’.

And yet it seemed some people enthusiastically bought into this notion. I was suddenly suggested as the perfect companion for significantly older men. In one case, I was solemnly assured, because the gentleman in question had “never grown up” (hopefully not one of those chaps fond of wearing nappies). I was also told if I could hang on for a few more years I could catch the second-time-rounders back on the ‘market’, or even bide my time, staring intently from a distance without introduction, for some poor chaps to recover from tragically being widowed. None of it seemed terribly romantic. Slightly alarming, yes. Sinister? Just a little. A pre-defined role as a companion to the heartbroken (or Peter Pan) and I – and maybe they -didn’t get much say in what happened next. So much for having a type. I was already being typecast.

But then I looked around at couples I knew and saw a lot more variety. Differences in age, culture, race, education, height, weight and background. Men older than women but also (gasp!) women older than men. One couple born on the same day in the same year now excited about becoming grandparents. Couples who met at youth group and university and church but also couples who met on blind dates, by chance in nightclubs, even on trains. Unexpected matches in which both flourished. Where types didn’t apply, because something deeper had kicked in.

So when long-time single friends* announced they had found love with older, divorced single parents despite having devoted years to hooking super-hot, younger, uncomplicated matches it made me wonder. On paper (or online) it can seem so straightforward. This is what I want. Don’t even talk to me if you don’t fit. The delightfully misused ‘God will give me the desires of my heart’ wheeled out to justify preferences, but unless we’re perfect (except me, obviously) we need to broaden our horizons. Let character, sense of humour, inspiring conversation, kindness, even differences and challenges, draw us to others. Prepare to be surprised. See what we might be missing. Say goodbye to types and hello to possibilities.

*Male and female. Did you guess? 

Written by Vicky Walker   Posted in: Dating, Singleness

About Vicky Walker

Vicky Walker is a writer and speaker, among other things. Her book ‘Do I have to be good all the time?’ about life, love and awkward moments is available now from www.vickywalker.info

http://blog.christianconnection.co.uk/i-was-wondering-about-playing-against-type/

* I made a decision, some time ago had to re-post other people's blog's but this caught my attention, so I'm reposting it.*

Christian Marriage and Dating

Are Christian guys just too nice? Written by Danny Webster

Sometimes I wish I was someone else.

Sometimes I wish I had a little more bravado. Sometimes I wish I laughed at things other people found funny. I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I was unpredictable. Surprising. I wish I had that edge. Whatever that edge maybe.

That edge that makes guys attractive to girls. And makes dates more than pleasant.

Because sometimes I think I am dull. Just dull. Barely making the mark of mediocrity known as pleasant.

Sometimes I wish I was someone else.

Someone better, scrap that, not better necessarily. Better is a bit too much like nice which is a bit too much like pleasant which sounds rather like code for dull. Different, I want to be different.

Threads’ anonymous Girl About Town wrote about her date with pleasant Christian guy. And it provoked quite a reaction. Guys split down the middle between trying to demonstrate their ‘fun’ credentials, and those like myself who sneered at the somewhat faux virility and opted instead for self-deprecation. An elaborate double bluff showcasing introversion and nerd like pursuits as a masquerade to shield insecurities.

It’s a cliché that good guys finish last, but sometimes that is what it feels like. It feels as though to achieve success in one part of life I have to screw up a little more. I could swear here to make my point with added weight but I don’t want to. I prefer not to swear.

We turn finding someone to build a relationship with into a game, where there is success and failure, and we are tempted to try and stack our hand. We weigh percentages and hunches and work out what would give us an advantage. 

Wondering whether if we were someone else the road might be easier. Wondering if a new identity might help. Thinking how much greener the grass is through our rose tinted glasses.

We want everything to be okay, we want to be without blemish so we erect structures and façades to shelter our fragile self. We are told there are ways to behave, things to do and not to do, and knowing that we don’t always live up to that we sometimes try to present an image that we do.

I think that if I wear the costume enough it might become a second skin. It is never quite home, but close enough that I lose sight of the ways it betrays me.

Sara Kewly Hyde commented: “I think sometimes rather than discovering the fabulous and unique individual God’s made them to be, some men (people) are trying to be what impresses others and that in turn can lead to… Well a whole host of insecurities, the fruit of which is sometimes blandness… I think as Christians we also struggle to assimilate our dark or shadow side so at times repress it rather than asking God to glorify himself through it. Repression can also = pleasant but nowt else. If we allowed our imperfections to be as visible as our good bits then it’s unlikely ‘pleasant’ would be the adjective de jour here. Pleasant is great if accompanied by other adjectives.”

Another friend simply said: “pleasant might also mean stifled”.

When guys hear they are too pleasant, the immediate reaction can be to add another layer of characteristics they think might help. So as well as being the good Christian guy they also need to be the Alpha male chopping down trees, skinning rabbits and rescuing the damsel in distress. I mock to make a point.

Christian guys are told to pursue, protect, provide and pastor, and that becomes another list of things they ought to do to make the mark. If they are being rejected as dull, dismissed as pleasant, then they are not doing enough to woo the women.

We are afraid of doing it wrong. Asking the wrong girl out, acting improperly, not being sufficiently chivalrous, not picking up on signals, showing too much affection, or more likely not enough. And under the weight of it, all that emerges is a bland pleasantness that might not be offensive but betrays its insincerity. It can also freeze us into inactivity.

The layers of personhood expected to be worn to fulfil the role of the right Christian guy become so deep personhood is lost. In trying to be something we stop being ourselves.

Here’s the challenge, I get the thrill of the different, the exciting, the edgy, but telling Christian guys they are too pleasant puts them on the defensive. It knocks their security and only encourages more layers covering over who they are.

Truly pleasant

Being nice is not bad. Being pleasant is not just about being polite. And good guys do not need to finish last. But if the pleasantries are a charade or a forced manicure they leave an emptiness where you or I should be.

Dave Shearn put it like this: “I think lots of us are non-committal and non-confrontational in the name of being ‘loving’ and that is lame. Passive aggression and people not agreeing with God that he made them awesome also doesn’t help.”

It’s not that Christians are necessarily more dull than anyone else, but they are known and to some degree safe, and sometimes an element of danger is alluring. It can be pseudo-rebellious.

The unknown can be attractive but it is also dangerous. Because I hope one day to be fully known and to know someone fully. I want safety to be a good thing. In the long run maybe pleasantness is a valuable attribute.

That don’t impress me much

I want to marry someone who loves me, and not love who I might pretend to be. Someone who knows me with my frailties and my failings, who sees my longings and my hopes and dreams. But I also want to be a better man. And I think it is a noble thing to want to be with someone who prompts you to be your better self. Not some act to be more edgy or less pleasant. But to find the ways I can glorify God more fully. To see the ways I can live a more holy life. To bear witness to the image of God that gives me dignity and humanity. To echo in a quiet whisper the love that has been given me.

And be all of it. No one is just one thing. No one is just pleasant. No one is just dull. No one is just boring. And no one is just exciting, edgy or different. We are whole people with a breadth of characteristics and being pleasant is a good one to own. But if that’s all you see yourself as no wonder that don’t impress her.

And I think trying to impress a girl who takes your fancy is a good thing. As long as the impression you’re making is yours to give.

PS. while writing this a friend tweeted a link to an interesting sermon on ‘new rules for love, sex and dating’ so I thought I’d share it.

This article was originally published on 11 May 2013, on Danny’s blog

Read more articles on: Happiness, Singleness

Jesus Shall Reign

1.     Jesus shall reign where'er the sun

        does its successive journeys run;

        his kingdom spread from shore to shore,

        till moons shall wax and wane no more.

2.     To Jesus endless prayer be made,

        and endless praises crown his head;

        his name like sweet perfume shall rise

        with every morning sacrifice.

3.     People and realms of every tongue

        dwell on his love with sweetest song;

        and infant voices shall proclaim

        their early blessings on his name.

4.     Blessings abound where'er he reigns;

        all prisoners leap and loose their chains;

        the weary find eternal rest,

        and all who suffer want are blest.

5.     Let every creature rise and bring

        honours peculiar to our King;

        angels descend with songs again,

        and earth repeat the loud amen!

Isaac Watts 1674-1748

A Wife of Noble Character Proverbs 31:10-31, Proverbs 18:22 and Psalm 128:3

A Wife of Noble Character Proverbs 31:10-31, Proverbs 18:22 and Psalm 128:3

Proverbs 18:22 Nlt The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and he receives favour from the Lord.

Psalm 128:3 Nlt Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table.

A Wife of Noble Character Proverbs 31:10-31 Nlt

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?    She is more precious than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband can trust her,    and she will greatly enrich his life.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,    all the days of her life.

¹³ She finds wool and flax    and busily spins it.
¹⁴ She is like a merchant’s ship,    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She goes to inspect a field and buys it;    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She is energetic and strong,    a hard worker.
¹⁸ She makes sure her dealings are profitable;    her lamp burns late into the night.

¹⁹ Her hands are busy spinning thread,    her fingers twisting fiber.
²⁰ She extends a helping hand to the poor    and opens her arms to the needy.
²¹ She has no fear of winter for her household,    for everyone has warm clothes.

²² She makes her own bedspreads.    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
²³ Her husband is well known at the city gates,    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
²⁴ She makes belted linen garments    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,    and she laughs without fear of the future.
²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,    and she gives instructions with kindness.
²⁷ She carefully watches everything in her household    and suffers nothing from laziness.

²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.    Her husband praises her:
²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,    but you surpass them all!”

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
³¹ Reward her for all she has done.    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

1.        Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

          O what a foretaste of glory divine!

          Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

          born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.

Refrain:

          This is my story, this is my song,

          praising my Savior all the day long;

          this is my story, this is my song,

          praising my Savior all the day long.

2.        Perfect submission, perfect delight,

          visions of rapture now burst on my sight;

          angels descending bring from above

          echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

          (Refrain)

3.        Perfect submission, all is at rest;

          I in my Savior am happy and blest,

          watching and waiting, looking above,

          filled with his goodness, lost in his love.

          (Refrain)

 

A Renewed Thinking

Romans 12 The Message ^1-2   So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:1-2 The Voice Brothers and sisters, in light of all I have shared with you about God’s mercies, I urge you to offer your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to God, a sacred offering that brings Him pleasure; this is your reasonable, essential worship. ² Do not allow this world to mold you in its own image. Instead, be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind. As a result, you will be able to discern what God wills and whatever God finds good, pleasing, and complete.

Romans12:1-2 Niv Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary Romans 12:2

The mind must be renewed for him. This is pressed (Rom. 12:2): “Be you transformed by the renewing of your mind; see to it that there be a saving change wrought in you, and that it be carried on.” Conversion and sanctification are the renewing of the mind, a change not of the substance, but of the qualities of the soul. It is the same with making a new heart and a new spirit—new dispositions and inclinations, new sympathies and antipathies; the understanding enlightened, the conscience softened, the thoughts rectified; the will bowed to the will of God, and the affections made spiritual and heavenly: so that the man is not what he was—old things are passed away, all things are become new; he acts from new principles, by new rules, with new designs. The mind is the acting ruling part of us; so that the renewing of the mind is the renewing of the whole man, for out of it are the issues of life, Prov. 4:23. The progress of sanctification, dying to sin more and more and living to righteousness more and more, is the carrying on of this renewing work, till it be perfected in glory. This is called the transforming of us; it is like putting on a new shape and figure.

On  Facebook, and when we update our Status on Facebook, it asks its users the question “What’s on your mind?”

In the English Language we have one word for Mind, and that word is Mind, I’m sorry for stating the obvious, The Bible was written in two languages,  the first of these was Hebrew which the Old Testament was originally written in, although it was later translated into languages like Aramaic, Greek and so on. The second language was Greek, which the New Testament was originally written in, although it was again translated into other languages, in many ways for the Roman Empire and other Empires of that time especially in the Eastern Mediterranean area, The Greek Language was the lingua franca, we call the Greek Language used then as Koine Greek.

The users of Koine Greek would have used 3 different words that we today would read in our Bibles as the English word “Mind” these are:-

1.   Sophrono or right mind, Strong’s ref 4993 To be of sound mind, sane, self-controlled, serious, moderate, sober-minded, restrained, disciplined, able to reason. From sozo.” , to save” and phren, “ the mind”  see Mark 5:15

2.   Dianoia or a thinking through Strong’s ref 1271 Dianoia combines nous, “mind” and dia, “through” The word suggests understanding, insight, meditation, reflection, perception, the gift of apprehension, the faculty of thought. When this faculty is renewed by the Holy Spirit, the whole mind-set changes from the fearful negativism of the carnal mind to the vibrant, positive thinking of the quickened spiritual mind see Mark 12:30

3.   Sophronismos or a sound mind Strong’s ref 4995, A combination of sos “safe” and phren, “the mind” hence safe-thinking. The word denotes good judgement, disciplined thought patterns, and the ability to understand and make right decisions. It includes the qualities of self-control and self-discipline see 2 Timothy 1:7

For many of us,  our thought patterns have been influenced by what our society and culture think or indeed think of us!,  the influence or propaganda of a non-Christian world view or group think has had or indeed having an undue influence on the way we think as Christian Believers, it’s time we changed the way we think.

Colossians 3:1-3 Esv

 3 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

1 Peter 1:13-15 Esv

13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, [a] and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct

Ephesians 4:17-18 Niv

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.