Views, Visions and Values.

Friday, 13 September 2013

How to Stay Above the Perilous Line Between Marriage and Divorce, from AllPRODAD

12:00PM EDT 9/12/2013 ALLPRODAD.COM STAFF

Strong marriage

On very rare and special occasions, we will see a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. So many things have to fall into place for a couple to make it that long together that it can nearly be considered a miracle only God could have bestowed.

Not only does the couple have to fight off all the sharp, poison-tipped arrows of life, but just the simple fragile nature of the human body makes it very hard for both to make it that far. It is pretty safe to say that, on their wedding day, most couples visualize being that pair that grows old so gracefully together.

Statistics say the odds are stacked against them, but it is a victory that can be won. It requires great passion from both in the marriage, and it demands a steadfast resolve to be the exception and not the rule.

Here are eight key ingredients to creating a strong, robust marriage that can go the distance:

1. Time management. Every quality recipe starts with a base and, in a strong marriage, time is the base—the solid foundation that will not crack under the pressures from outside. Time must be managed in the proper way to achieve success at whatever our prime objective is, and that is especially true in our marital relationships. We must be present and actively participating. Why is the phrase “We just drifted apart” so often heard? Time not well-spent.

2. Communication—talk to her. Communication is everything to a woman. It is the spark to all things in the relationship for her, including the romantic part. Love without communication will not sustain. There are many ways to do this, so that does not mean if you are a man of few words, you can’t still have your own unique forms of communication. However, words had better be present, because if your wife feels isolated and alone in the marriage, soon you will too.

3. Full respect. A man that respects his wife doesn’t belittle or demean her. Many marriages include one partner that is a bully in the union, and it goes both ways. If happiness as well as longevity are the goal, then healthy respect for the feelings and opinions of your spouse is essential.

4. Take ownership and responsibility. A fully grown man carries the burden of responsibility for his family. No matter the financial circumstances or personality traits, in the end it is the husband that is the head of the household. Along with the title comes the great responsibility required of it. A great many men like the title but hate the actual duty. Responsibility can’t be delegated. Blame can’t be assigned elsewhere, and childish attempts to point fingers only lead to destruction. A man leads his family with a generous and kind spirit, and he has the heart of a warrior to protect it. The buck stops with you in all cases.

5. Compassion and sympathy. Arthur H. Stainback says, “The value of compassion cannot be overemphasized. Anyone can criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands.” Your bride needs your deepest compassion and sympathy along your journey together. She will follow you to the ends of the earth if you give her this.

6. True romance. To be a romantic husband means far more than anything that goes on behind closed doors. Intimacy, friendship and a pure bond between you both of deep respect for the other person is what creates true romance. Physical meets mental in a perfect union of exactly the type of love that will make it to 50 years. If you have these connections, they will sustain you through the hard times—the years when your children prohibit much physical intimacy, the days when you feel beat up by the world but know there is always one person who has your back. This is what is meant by two becoming one.

7. Self-sacrifice. Being second is not an easy thing to do. It takes humility, lack of envy in your heart and, most importantly, a desire to lead with only the bigger picture in mind. It doesn’t mean you neglect your own needs to the point that you vanish, but it does mean placing the needs of your wife and family above your own—because they actually are your own. There are many examples that could be listed for this, but use your imagination to fit your own circumstances. A smile put on the face of a loved one is a million times more valuable than anything of a temporary or material nature. It is the difference between fool’s gold and the real thing.

8. Healthy lifestyle. Obviously if you are going to make it to a 50th anniversary, it’s going to require using these strategies. But it will also mean that you both share good health into your later years. Put away the bad habits. Cut out the senseless anger and stress. Eat well and exercise. Peer deep into the future and think about what you want to see in it. Anything you come up with will need you to be healthy.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

How to Destroy Your Marriage Before It Begins

Discerning Jezebel’s False Prophetic Puppets

Keith Olbermann, Craig James, and the Shocking Example of Double Standards

Haunting photographs of a Washington ghost-town which was once a bustling railroad village before the jobs left and the residents followed, Daily Mail

Lester, Washington's last living resident died in in 2002 at the age of 99
The town was once a fuel stop for trains but lost its usefulness when they stopped using coal

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 07:19, 12 September 2013 | UPDATED: 12:24, 12 September 2013

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The town of Lester in central Washington State was once a service stop for trains running from Seattle to Minneapolis on the Great Northern railway line, but it is now a ghost town.

The last surviving resident of the town, which was founded in the 1892 in the picturesque Cascade Mountains, a woman by the name of Gertrude Murphy, died in 2002 at the age of 99.

Now, the town stands as a testament to the changing face of America in the post industrial age.

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Ghost town: Lester, Washington is one of the few true ghost towns in the state. Founded in 1892, it had all but disappeared back into nature by the 2000s

The way it was: An guard house in Lester is one of the few remaining buildings in the ghost town.The town along the picturesque Green River in central Washington, Lester once provided coal to steam trains

Haunting: Pictured is the inside of one of the two remaining houses in Lester. The ghost town saw its last resident die in 2002

Just two houses remain standing in the town, which began its decline when trains in the region switched from steam to diesel.

Lester was no longer needed as a 'helper station' for refueling trains with coal.

By the 1980s, the city of Tacoma, Washington passed legislation aimed at dissolving the town of Lester, which stood in Tacoma's watershed.

Breathtaking: The remnants of a warehouse decay ever further in Lester, an old railroad town situated in Cascade range in Central Washington

Preserved: Inside one of Lester's two standing houses, an empty kitchen gathers dust and dirt but retains its bright red trim

Reclaimed: An old telegraph pole rots away like much of Lester. Few buildings remain in the town, and the ones that still stand are surrounded by such overgrowth

Lonely: A lone chair sits in a shower stall in the back of a guard house in Lester. No one has lived in the town, much less sat in a chair there, since 2002

The residents were asked to leave and the town was nearly abandoned.

That is, except for Gertrude Murphy.

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Murphy, a school teacher who once taught the children of Lester, refused to sell off her property and stayed in her home until it burned.

After that, she moved into a cabin outside the town.

Washington ghost-town of Lester was a bustling village

Train town: Lester was founded as the railroad industry began to boom in the Northwest. Trains went silent in the town for decades and have only recently begin passing through once again

No more: Lester's last resident Gertrude Murphy died in 2002 at the age of 99. She'd tried and failed to preserve her town as an historical site

An inside view of an abandoned warehouse. Lester once served as a helper town for the Northwest railroad. Trains would stop in the town and refuel

This angle shows the only two houses left in Lester. Gertrude Murphy's house burned down in the years before her death, forcing her to stay in a cabin just outside the town, but she refused to ever leave for good

Murphy tried and failed to turn her town's remaining buildings into historical relics. She died at 99 in October of 2002.

With all its residents gone, what was left of Lester when Murphy died has decayed ever further.

Only two houses remain in the town, which has now been fenced off from automobile traffic, according to the
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

While trains have begun chugging through once again, the only way to actually reach the town is on foot.

The odd traveler now happens by now and again to catch a glimpse of one of America's few true ghost towns before it inevitably vanishes.

Forgotten: An abandoned Chevrolet melts into the dense forests of the Cascades. Soon, there will be nothing left of Lester but memories and even those will fade

Pictured is the attic in the guard house. Lester's only road has been shut down and the town fenced off. It is now only accessible on foot

Inaccessible: Dust and scattered trash covers the kitchen of a guard house in Lester. The town is completely silent save for the occasional passing train now and no longer accessible by car or even bike