Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God. Part 4:

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God.

Part 4:

I Corinthians 1-12:13, 3:4-11, 3:21 – 23  New Living Translation.

12 Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter, [d]” or “I follow only Christ! …… 4 When one of you says, “I am a follower of Paul,” and another says, “I follow Apollos,” aren’t you acting just like people of the world? 5 After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us. 6 I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.  11 for no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ…. 21 So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you— 22 whether Paul or Apollos or Peter,[g] or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, 23 and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.

When we look at the Church today, what do we see and what do we mean by the word Church ? to some the word Church has a negative effect on the other hand, the word Church has a positive effect, to others Church should be consigned to the past, and it doesn’t have any relevance to them and society both today in the present or indeed tomorrow the future, some think of the word Church and they think of a physical building others think of the New Testament concept of God’s people or a spiritual building.

The Church today is divided into various camps or tribal groups, that more often or not have very little to do with other camps or tribal groups, sometimes different churches can be close to each in terms of a physical distance, but miles apart in so many other ways.   Is the Church somewhere we can go to or is it a body of people that we belong to, and are joined alongside each other to work alongside each other to see the Good News of the Gospel of the Kingdom preached to those without the Good News of Salvation through our Lord and Saviour Jesus.

We are divided into groups or denominations that have more to do with our past, and very little to do with our present or future. We hold onto ways of both doing and being church because of our history and our responsibilities to that history, and the expectancies of others. Sometimes we're divided into seemingly rival tribal groups, because for some our revelation of being and doing church is driven by being the people of God where His Presence dwells, but on the other hand we're divided because of politics and personalties !.The Church is a movement for change and transformation but for many of us The Church has become a monument to our spiritual forefathers who were a movement for change and transformation !.

We follow men and sometimes women, we follow the traditions that were our spiritual forefather’s doctrines and their distinctiveness from other tribal groups and when someone from another tribe says let’s meet together for fellowship and to share together, we say we can't because we’re group a and your group b and our big chief said in 1920 said that we need to avoid group b because your understanding of church and Christianity is different from way he told us to be the church and to be a Christian and therefore you’re wrong, or we do meet together but in a spirit of reluctance and/or a spirit of mistrust, we’ve created theories,  doctrines, theologies and solutions how we’re to be the church and to life our Christian lives and be a Christian Witness, but many of those theories etc belong in the past, and have become hindrances and obstacles for us today.

Many of our tribes or denominations have become tied to the way we did Church, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or a 100 plus years ago, we look for structure and safety in the past.  We think that the way we do and are the Church is the right or indeed the only way to be do or be Church,  we mistake our history for our present and future and wonder why despite our best efforts, our prayers indeed our prophecies, we’re unfulfilled !

When our Lord Jesus walked the streets of his homeland,  he saw a fig tree and when he looked for fruit he found only leaves Matthew 21:18-20, 18  In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19  And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once. 20 When the disciples saw it, they marvelled, saying, “How did the fig tree wither at once?

I would say that so many of our churches are like that fig tree, yes we have life but it has gone to produce only leaves, instead of producing leaves alongside fruit, indeed later in the same chapter, Jesus spoke about the physical nation of Israel, saying that because they trusted in themselves rather than trusting in the Lord, that had lost the Kingdom of God, Matthew 21:43 43 Therefore I tell you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people producing its fruits.

For many of our churches today, we’ve lost the Kingdom of God because we’ve trusted in ourselves, our systems, structures and strategies instead of trusting Him , our Lord and Saviour Jesus,  we’ve just grown leaves not fruit and God has gone and left us, even then we’ve created a theology and/or theory/or solutions around that, see Habakkuk 3:15-18 17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

However there is a message of hope, for those Churches that once proclaimed God’s Message, Haggai 1:6  6 You have planted much but harvest little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty. You put on clothes but cannot keep warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes! See Haggai 1, our transformation isn’t due to our living in the luxury houses that  are our own tribal groups/denominations/churches but rather our transformation comes through being part of His Church, or the Temple or the House of the Lord. We’ve become consumed that our way of doing and being Church is also the Lord’s way of doing and being Church, but our ways are not his ways of doing and being Church see Isaiah 55:8-11

We have set in place man made structures, systems and organizations to how to do and be the Church today, we set in place committees, clerical systems and called and commissioned those He’s not called and commissioned to lead us in being the Church and we wonder why nothing is working, we’ve watered down and diluted our message to make it pliable to others, we’ve accepted things that go against Biblical Standards like Homosexual Clergy  and wonder why God isn’t moving amongst us and blessing us

Yet, there is hope for us the Church,  the old wineskins of our ways,  those beloved ways of doing and being the Church aren’t working and if we try to add His way of being and doing Church or the new wine to our old wineskins, our old wineskins are going to tear and break up, instead we need His new wineskins of doing and being the Church, his structure, systems, and Leadership* and following those He has called and commissioned to lead us forward, see Luke 5:37-39.

We notice in Scripture, there is a God Ordained indeed Organized way of being and doing Church, no longer will our man made systems cope with the things, our message should be say no, to the status quo,  We don’t need any other or more denominations or tribes, we don’t need another methodology of doing and being the Church.  We need to be a Movement and not a Monument. We need to see a restoration of Apostolic Christianity, which is a Movement for the 21st Century Church not a Monument to the 1st Century Church.  We need to see Revival through a Renewed Church.

It says in Ephesians 4:11-13* 11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.  See Ephesians 4:11-16 for context.

Yours in His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Majesty.... Delrious

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God. Part 3

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God.

Part 3

I Corinthians 1:12-13 and 3:4-11 New Living Translation.

12 Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter, [d]” or “I follow only Christ.” 13 Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not! …… 4 When one of you says, “I am a follower of Paul,” and another says, “I follow Apollos,” aren’t you acting just like people of the world? 5 After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us. 6 I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. 7 It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. 9 For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building. 10 Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful.11 for no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ

Today when we walk in the places we live, we see buildings that are used for various purposes, some buildings are where we live, other buildings are where we work, shop, rest and relax, there are specialist buildings such as Train Stations, Churches and Hospitals, each building has a specific function and role to fulfil that more often is unique to that building, sometimes buildings can be adapted and changed to serve a different purpose than their original purpose, some buildings have been left desolate and have become ruins and monuments, some buildings are empty because no one can find a use for them anymore.  Each building we see regardless of its use and purpose needs a foundation.

The Lord Jesus said in Matthew 7:24 NLT, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock” see Matthew 7:24-27 and Luke 47- 49 for the context. Luke 6:47-48  NLT says , “47 I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. 48 It is like a person building a house that digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built.

Today in 2013, we see various versions of the Bible, that are available for us to read and study, I  use the New American Standard Bible, and when I write I use Bible Gateway which has dozens of Bible Versions. I use various versions of the Bible since I was saved at 11 but at the end of day as The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3: 15-17 NLT, “15 You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

To develop and progress in our Christian walk and witness, to be more effective disciples of our Lord and Saviour we must read and study God’s Written Word daily.  When I was in Sunday School, I remember singing this song “Read your Bible, Pray every day, if you want to Grow “If that was important for me as a child how much more important is for me as a more mature Christian today?

When someone builds a foundation for a building, if they decide to use cheap or substandard building materials wouldn’t that building look strange or be dangerous and likely to collapse, yet if we don’t as Christians build using the correct building materials wouldn’t our lives and our Christian Witness look equally strange, look dangerous or likely to collapse see 1 Corinthians 3:12-13 NLT.

We build our Christian Life and Witness not on the latest fads or fashions, the opinions or perspectives of others however appealing or relevant they seem, we don’t build on what the non-Christian or anti-Christian demands of our Society are.  We build on God’s Word the Bible that has been and still is God’s Inspired Word; there is nothing more relevant to us today than God’s Word

The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:20 NLT, “20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself.”

To lead His Church into the fullness and completeness that He always intended it to be, Our Lord Jesus set apart Leadership Gifts, that this He has called in the past and is calling today specific individuals to positions of Leadership in His Church, today we have various names, titles and badges and descriptions of Leadership that vary from Church to Church!.

 We have built man-made structures and systems from the early days of the Church to co-ordinate what happens in the Church, I’m not against co-ordination or structure and systems but the organization of Church isn’t the central purpose of the Church, in many cases we have made a god of organization.  The Church is a living and breathing organism, the organization is the servant of the organism but more often or not the organism has become the servant of the organization.

I’m not saying that the Church and our Church Meetings become a free for all, the place of gossip and chat, good ideas and the downright weird and wacky, although it can happen, however, there is a divinely inspired framework for the correct method of Church Structure.

In the New Testament especially Paul’s epistles, we see God’s structure for the Church and how the Church should be organized and lead.  Today we have Vicars, Priests, Bishops, Archbishops, Reverends etc. etc., we give people titles and badges and recognition, but are they God given titles, badges and recognition or are they man given?

We see both in 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4, part of God’s structure and framework for the church,  1 Corinthians 12:28 ESVA, “And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. For the context see 1 Corinthians 12:27-30, and Ephesians 4:11-13 NLT, “11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. For the context see Ephesians 4:11-16.

The first part of God’s structure for the Church are The Apostles, The Prophets, The Evangelists, The Pastors or Shepherds and The Teachers which are five distinct ministry areas given to certain individuals in the Church, these Men and their ministries are gifts given by our Lord and Saviour as gifts to His Church, the second part of God’s structure are the Elders and Deacons, I believe that all the other ministry areas here are given to Men, and although I respect and honour the role/s of the Ladies in the Church, the biblical example of Leadership in the Church is uniquely for Men.  The descriptions of the roles of The Elders and Deacons in the Church are found in 1 Timothy 3:1-13.  Firstly Elders In 1 Timothy 3:1-2 NLT, “This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be an elder, [a] he desires an honourable position.” 2 So an elder must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. [b] He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. Then Secondly Deacons in I Timothy 3:8 NLT, “In the same way, deacons must be well respected and have integrity.”

  

I believe that the correct indeed the only way for His Church to move forward in the 21st Century and face all the challenges and opportunities that it brings is firstly live as disciples, be in relational covenant with each other and follow Our Saviour’s leadership and direction in our lives, and follow the example and influence of those God has called to lead us, I would describe this a restoration or renewal of Apostolic Christianity. For my American readers, I mean New Testament Christianity, not Apostolic in the context of the Oneness Gospel.

Yours in His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Southport, Merseyside

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra –Ordinary God. Part 2:

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra –Ordinary God.

Part 2:

Ephesians 3:10 -12 and 16 – 21 NIVUK

 So that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, 12 in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him…………… 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen

I grew up in the South Wales Valleys, were the common themes for many were Chapel, Rugby and the Colliery, the threads that would often hold those communities together would be those mentioned above, the hymns of the Chapel such as Guide me, O Though Great Jehovah would be sung with at least equal gusto on a Saturday Afternoon watching the Rugby.

In many ways, our lives would have been influenced and affected by the strong religious traditions of something best described as chapel culture, when we spoke of the church, we would often have of thought of the Anglican Church with their vicars etc., for many people from a chapel background the church was a strange place that could be described it’s church, but not as we know it!.

The traditions of Chapel Culture would be at least influenced by protecting and promoting Welsh Language and Culture, and to distinguish it against the English Language and Culture. I would say that in the Village where the Church I was raised in, is located. Approximately half the Chapels would speak Welsh in all their services. I love Wales, its Language, Culture and its People but there aren’t The Lord who died for my sins and the sins of the entire World, and rose again in Victory and is coming back for us when He comes to reign and rule and establish His Kingdom in its full splendour and glory.

We have made idols of so many things in the Church, whether that be our traditions, heritage and our national or cultural identities, our churches have become monuments to past moves of God, or to the men who God raised up to move his Church forward.  The Church has become known to what we’re against rather than what we for, we fight battles and wars with society rather than supporting and encouraging society, yes there are anti-Christian influences and challenges facing us today, with the prospect of Gay Marriage and the attempts of our politicians to force change in the legal definition of marriage.

When people think of Church they think of a dying religion and something that is part of the establishment. We should stand against the enemy, the devil but our weapons aren’t the weapons or the strategies of the world, see 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 .We try to convict the people we meet whose lives aren’t in accordance with scripture of their sin but we aren’t the Holy Spirit who convicts the world of sin and shows them God’s righteousness see John 16:-8-11 instead we’ve alienated those He sent us to show His Love and Compassion to.

When Jesus walked the streets of the lands of Bible Times,  he wasn’t part of the establishment, whether that was the political or the religious establishment, Jesus is God’s ultimate revolutionary, he isn’t some kind of Jewish Che Guevara, he was and is the Son of God, who came as  baby, lived a normal life, then for the last 3 years of his life, bought God’s message of transformation, hope, redemption, salvation, deliverance and peace to those he meet regardless of their  sexuality,  disability, cultural or ethnic background, he raised up normal men and women, that were often the lowest and sometimes the most despised people in society, like his ancestor King David, who’s mighty men came from those in debt, distress or the discontented, see 2 Samuel 22:3, he died an agonising death on the cross, of all the tens of thousands than were crucified by the Roman and other empires, only one death made a difference, Jesus took the entire sin of the entire world from that day until he day He returns, and died as the sacrifice for not only the sins of the church, but the sins of those yet to know Him. He arose Victorious from the tomb, and entered Heaven after preparing His early disciples and sending the Holy Spirit see John 20 so that His Church may go forward and see people saved, lives transformed, hope restored and renewed and salvation bought to the ends of the earth.

Today, we  the Church like David’s Mighty Men and the early Disciples are God’s Mighty Men and Women of Faith, who have been tasked by our Saviour and Lord to advance His Kingdom and His Church into our streets, neighbourhoods, communities, regions, nations and the nations of the world.

When God commissioned the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 6:8 see here for context. Isaiah 6:8-9 8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” 9 And he said, “Go, and say to this people:

Throughout the History of the Church, God has called and commissioned Ordinary People just like You and Me,  he’s not called the seemingly best equipped or seemingly the most talented or indeed the best gifted, when God sent the Prophet Samuel to anoint Israel’s next King he sent him to the home of Jesse in Bethlehem, and when he looked at Jesse’s Sons he saw some great and talented warriors but they weren’t God’s choice see  1 Samuel 16:5-13, God is calling the Ordinary People to rise up for Him see 1 Corinthians 26-29 but let us not be like the Prophet Jonah, who when God called him to Nineveh went in the opposite direction!

Today God is calling again  Whom shall I send, and who will go for us, will we say Here am I send Me, and will we ready to Go to those who sends us and where He sends us ?

Yours in His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Southport, Merseyside

10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Wife

10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Wife

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God., Part 1

Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra-Ordinary God.

Part 1:

Ephesians 3:10-12 &; 20 &; 21 ESVUK

10 so that through the Church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places 11.  This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord 12, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him…………………20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us 21, to him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.

I love the Church, I think it’s amazing; I love Jesus more and more each day and love looking at, reading and studying His written Word the Bible. and I love being a part of His amazing Church, When you think about it That the Church belongs to Jesus and His written Word the Bible explains to us how to live our lives as Christians who are the people who make up the Church, it can revolutionise your love for the Church and our Saviour.

The famous American Preacher and Revialist, Jonathan Edwards is well known for his sermon "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" which he bought to his Church in 1741, this in someways is an homage to that title.

I was raised in a Christian Home and both my dad and my late mum, with my late grandparents give me a love for Scripture, the Church and our Lord and Saviour Jesus, I was * saved or * born again or * accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour (*depends on your theological viewpoint!) when I was 11 in a Children’s Meeting, Easter Monday 1981.

I was raised in a little church in Resolven, which is near Neath, South Wales now called The Resolven Community Church, which is part of a larger grouping called the Apostolic Church which are part of the Pentecostal Movement here in the UK the others are The Assemblies of God and Elim, both of which are a real blessing to know.  I spent the first 13 years of the Christian Life within The Apostolic Church I thank the Lord for the privilege of being raised in that denomination and the grounding and foundation I had there, and the friends I have there today.

Those who know me know I love reading and one of the things I love reading about is the Church. I devour books at the best of times, but I’m always drawn to books about the Church. I’ve been inspired by many godly writers such as Alan Roxburgh, Neil Cole, Floyd McClung, Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton amongst others and have been challenged by what God has said through them.  I’ve also been inspired by some great Church Leaders like Keri Jones, Arnallt Morgan, Mark Davies, Roger Aubrey, Mick Walford, Mike & John Sutton-Smith, Geoff Grice and Steve Smith who have through the last 18 years have inspired and challenged me to go on with the things of God, and go deeper with God.  I would like this opportunity to say thank you and to Arnallt diolch yn fawr.

When you think about it, there are various models of Church and different perspectives on what the Church are, and what it should or could be. My Spiritual grounding and heritage has been and still is the Pentecostal/Charismatic/ Restoration stream/s which are part of the broader Evangelical Spectrum although I admire and respect those whose Christian path has been or is different from mine.

My background is of someone growing up in the Welsh Valleys, although I now live in the North West of England, when I think of my younger days that Church more or often or not was somewhere we went, rather than something we are part of.  I thought of a Physical Building rather than a Spiritual Building, Yes Physical Buildings are important but they serve the Spiritual Building, by the way that’s you and me.

There are countless ways or models of doing and being the Church such as Missional church, Simple church etc. ,etc. there are large churches, small churches, medium churches, full churches, half full churches, empty churches, traditional churches, free churches, Baptist churches, Anglican churches, Pentecostal churches the list can go on and on   If you look in your Telephone Directory or search online, how many churches are listed in your City, Town or Village ?, * Note I use the word Church to describe the Church in general and the word church to describe churches, that is in the local church or the church grouping You or I are part of, and isn’t meant to diminish any one church or group of churches *

I don’t believe that there should only be model or type of church, I believe that each model or type of church is equally valid and has an important and relevant part to play in our role to Evangelise those who yet don’t know the Lord, The Lord has called us to work alongside in a sense of co-operation not to compete against each other in attracting unbelievers those who yet don’t know the Lord or have a relationship with Him.

I believe that different models or ways of doing and being the church can reach different types of people. For one person may feel comfortable in for example a more traditional type of church and for another person may feel more comfortable in a more lively church, then someone else may like a more simple way of doing church for example in a smaller setting, then someone may feel more comfortable being amongst a crowd.

Our Lord, Saviour & Redeemer Jesus Christ says in Matthew 16:18b ESVUK.

“I will build my church, and the gates of hell[b] shall not prevail against it.”

The Apostle Paul, says in Ephesians 4:1-7 ESVUK

 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5  one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6  one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift

Our Lord, Saviour and Redeemer give his life for One Church and He’s coming back for One Church,  regardless of what part of the Church You or I belong to we are One Church.

In part 2 onwards I will look in more depth into the Book of Ephesians mostly and other books of the Bible to see what it means to be the Church and how we go about being The Church, I’m hoping to expand in more depth at a later point Ordinary Christians in the Hands of the Extra –Ordinary God.

Yours in His Grace

Blair Humphreys

Southport, Merseyside, England

A Joke about RyanAir

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"

"That is remarkable value" Michael comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.

That will be 3 euro please.

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."

O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"

"I will never use this bar again

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"