Chivalry is a romantic idea, and
often misunderstood. So first off, let’s be clear as to what the word really
means. At FreeDictionary.com, chivalry is defined this way:
1. The medieval system,
principles and customs of knighthood.
A. The qualities idealized by
knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor and gallantry toward women.
B. A manifestation of any of these
qualities.
2. A group of knights or gallant
gentlemen. Fortunately
for all of us—men, women and children—we have come a long way from medieval
Europe, and a system of social protocols that made productive relationships
based in equality virtually impossible.
However, there are deeper principles
based on the values of self-giving love that still afford 21st-century men the
opportunity to honor and respect their wives without the patronizing baggage of
chauvinism.
So feel free to be your wife’s
knight, ride up on your noble steed and demonstrate your dutiful affection via
the following “10 Acts a Chivalrous Husband Does for His Wife”:
1. He always thinks of her first. This may sound like a no-brainer, but
it’s also true that many of us play out our role as husbands while bypassing
the brain as a matter of routine! Make this a personal discipline until it
becomes second nature.
2. He opens the door (not just the
car door, but every door, every time). Yes, the car door thing is cliché. But it—and every
door—is such a good opportunity to let both our wife and the entire world know
how you honor her.
3. He holds her hand. A lot. For
no good reason. Just
holding your wife’s hand with no ulterior motive lets her know she’s deeply
connected to you and that you prize her affection. It signals warmth and
protection. And that she’s the only gal for you.
4. He walks on the street side of the
sidewalk. Remember
walking? Remember sidewalks? This action has its roots in shielding women from
the mud and the splash. However, splash or no splash, it’s a posture that says,
“I will protect you; I place myself between you and danger.” Simply moving
around to that side is a huge statement of respect.
5. He gets soaked fetching an
umbrella. Again,
it’s the principle of the action. You get the car, you run around in the rain
and open the door, you shield her with the umbrella. This kind of initiative is
a way of life, not a novelty action.
6. He coaches his children in
self-giving love. Don’t let it stop with you, All Pro Dad. Teach your children, especially
your sons, to look out for their mother and to put her first. Kindness, when
they see it in you and practice it in their own lives, will heal your family.
7. He serves her coffee or tea in bed
in the morning. Don’t ride
in on the horse, but do serve her in this way as much as possible. And it’s
also a good idea when the whole family eats together, that no one takes a bite
until mom lifts her spoon. It’s a way to honor her sacrifice of preparing the
meal.
8. He is always courteous. Many men are un-chivalrous in the way
they put themselves first and fail to think of the needs of their wives. Say
“please” and “thank you.” Do not raise your voice. Turn off the distractions
when you eat together (she’s more important than answering the phone). Make it
obvious that the relationship is primary. Believe us, courtesy sets the tone
and is always reciprocated.
9. He washes her car before he washes
his. It’s the
little things. Did you offer her the last cookie? When you poured yourself a
glass of water, did you offer her one too? Did it occur to you to wash her car
when you spent all afternoon spiffing up yours?
10. He stands up and takes the heat. Does she know you have her
back? Was the repair guy surly when she talked with him on the phone? Is she
getting the run-around trying to sort out the insurance claim? Was the waiter
at the restaurant or the clerk at the store out of line? We’re not suggesting
you go Rambo on these people, but consider stepping up and saying, “Excuse me,
but it’s unacceptable for you to talk to my wife that way.” But leave the
shield, the lance and the sword in the car.
All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative
and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of
the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children
with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of
fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources
include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos
and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the
highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.
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