What are some of the more difficult aspects of dating for godly men?
Dating is one of the most interesting social
studies. Two people with different personalities begin a relationship. With past baggage, a variety of
cultural expectations, socio-economic histories, family background, values, morals
and faith, you might wonder if it’s possible
that dating can actually lead tomarriage.
From the very opening line to the closing
technique, finding dating truths for God’s men can be difficult because there’s
not much “dating,” as we know it today, in the Bible.
For example:
Do you ever wonder what Adam’s approach to Eve was?
Something like, “Hey, God made me. He made you. Let’s get it on.”
Or Ruth, who slept at Boaz’s feet, in nonverbal
communication that says, “Take me. I am yours.”
Samson jumped the gun with Delilah, falling deep
into a premarital relationship that probably involved sex and eventually
short-circuited Samson’s ultimate potential.
David never bothered to date Bathsheba; instead, he
just had her husband killed.
Then there’s that book in the Bible called Song of
Solomon. This interesting book is located in the very middle, or “heart,” of
the Bible. It’s a lovelorn exchange of adoration between two people obviously
very smitten. Song of Solomon shows me that God is a big fan of dating. It also
tells me dating must involve respect, patience, self-control and
fearlessness.
Respect. Each
player in this love story humbles themselves while showing ultimate respect for
the other. I know men love to feel respected, but in Song of Solomon, the male
writer also shows respect for his woman with compliments, protective language
and encouraging words.
Patience. When
two people are dating each other and cannot be together, there’s a test of
patience. In Song of Solomon, I see that each player dealt with their longing
desire by taking time to write down their thoughts. This is a sign of patience.
If they did not write out these love notes, they could have become impatient
and looked for another substitute.
Self-control. When
reading this book, I wonder what self-control they actually had. For God’s man,
dating must be an exercise in self-control. (I’ll explain in future articles
the difference between “quick” and “quality” dating.) Ultimately, controlling
your thoughts, words and behavior will show your potential mate you can be
trusted. So, how do you show self-control? Trust God’s plan and obey His Word.
She will totally dig this about you!
Fearlessness. Let’s
face it: Dating is scary. There’s a lot on the line, including your heart. You
have to take a step of faith and be fearless for God’s way. But if you have
respect, patience and self-control operating in you, then there’s no need to
fear. You can rest in the peace that God’s plan is good and you are following
His path.
Kenny Luck, founder
of Every Man Ministries and Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, provides
biblically-oriented teaching and leadership for men and pastors seeking
relevant, timely material that battle cultural, worldly concepts threatening
men and God’s men. Follow Kenny and Every Man
Ministries now on Facebook, Twitter (@everyMM) and YouTube.
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